Black and Blue

Chapter 10

Rolland was lying on his bed,staring at the ceiling. He skipped school on grounds of not feeling well,which he did, if not entirely. He spent most of his time reading, or crying or overthinking things that never happened.

He was too confused and didn't really know what he felt. It was a mixture of anger, disappointment, anxiety, depression etc. He didn't know what to think anymore. He hated himself.

He started talking to himself, like.  ..
He saved my life and was a friend to me, how could i fall for him?

Do i really love him? How could i and why would i?

I should try to be happy for  him but I'm not happy.....I'm jealous.

No wtf Rolland, why are you jealous of Sara? Matthew is probably deeply in love with her.

But he said he didn't love her...then why?

Will he even talk to me? What should I tell him if he calls or meets me?

But I'm grounded, I cant even meet him!

God help me!

Poor boy. Little did he know, the side effects of falling in love. His mom stopped talking to him, and his brother Occasionally came and tried to talk to him, but instead pissed him off.

The more he thought about it, the more he hated himself. He tried not to fall for Matthew, but he only fell harder. He wanted him. It was not less than torture.

"Ughh I can't do this anymore! He said he doesn't like Sara.....so I shall confess to him as soon as possible!", Rolland muttered to himself," He....won't reject me i guess...even if he does it won't be that bad."

Rolland at last settled on confessing his feelings for Matthew once the week is over. 'Just six days of misery' as he called it was left.

He didn't eat properly those days, and his sleep schedule was ruined. His grades weren't too admirable and he barely talked to anyone.

Finally it was the last day of misery and he couldn't wait to meet the love of his life.

It was the last day of the week and Rolland would be able to meet Matthew again. Matthew was excited at this thought but also quite stressed out.  After all, it was because of him that Rolland was grounded in the first place.

Also there was something else that troubled him. That day at Sara's house, he overheard Sara and her mom arguing about Matthew.

Her mom was being too protective and didn't want her to hang out with the guy who wasn't even there when she woke up in the morning. But Sara was way much in love with him. And after a long argument, she finally convinced her mom. Matthew had left by the time she came out.

And after that day, they both started hanging out and because Matthew didn't want to break her heart, they even  started making out at weird public places.

Matthew was happy that he had a girlfriend and she was really nice. He wanted to share his happiness with Rolland, but he was dangerously not picking up calls, or not being active in social media.

So he just waited until he could meet him again, and Matthew had this great plan of making Rolland and Sara friends.

At last, the days of misery had ended and Rolland was excited as well as nervous at the same time. He couldn't wait for school to be over so he could meet Matthew. He didn't inform him, he knew where to find him and wanted it to be a surprise.

Rolland had never proposed anyone and was highly un-romantic according to him. He tried to do his best. He was really hopeful and actually expected Matthew to say yes.

The whole day at school, he couldn't pay attention in what he was taught. All he did was pushing away his bad thoughts about the most hurtful ways that he can be rejected.

After school was finally over, he rushed out to a market to get a bouquet of roses and fixed his hair. He then went towards their usual spot and hoped that Matthew would be already there.

Nope.

He waited for about fifteen minutes, bit when he didn't show up, Rolland grew more and more nervous, and decided too go to Matthew's work place.

Just as he reached there, he saw Matthew standing at the entrance, busy with his phone. Just when Rolland was about to go to him and spill the holy words, a girl, Sara, came up to him from behind and pulled him into a long kiss.

The bouquet of roses fell off Rolland's hand he could feel tears swelling up in his eyes. He didn't even get a chance to meet him. He kicked away the flowers and tried his best to wipe away his tears as he saw the couple walking up to him.

"Oh hey Rolland, long time no see.......I am uh sorry that you got grounded because of me..", Matthew started nervously as he stood in front of Rolland.

Rolland could barely speak so he tried to force a smile but he was already on the verge of a huge breakdown.

Matthew noticed it and said," Wait, are you...crying?"

And before he said the last  word, Rolland burst out in tears, and turned his back to them, running towards his home.

'It's.....over', Rolland shouted to himself, "its over!".