𝘔𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥- 𝘬𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪 𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘰

ill be here waiting

We arrived at the Walmart stepping out the car, roshuan grabbing my hand running towards the Walmart. We entered the Walmart putting on our sunglasses so no one would recognize us. Ok so what are we here for I ask roshaun. Grab us 2 carts we're getting a lot of things roshaun reply's still not answering my question. I grab us the 2 carts anyways and I hand one to Roshaun. Ok follow me he says.

We ended up in the sports aisle. Here you go Roshaun says handing me a wooden bat. Roshaun still wouldn't tell me what we were doing so I decided to stop asking.

We then stopped by stationary section grabbing a pack of sharpies, pens and a stack of papers. lastly we stopped at the kitchen section. Roshaun put mason jars, ceramic plates and glass cups in the cart.

We then gathered up wooden crates (if they sell those at Walmart), A pretty cheap old tv they gave us for free because it wasn't needed, safety glasses, matches, glass vases, a small table and 4 helium balloons.

We checked out and headed back to my car earning several glances from people because of the weird amount of things we were taking. We loaded everything in the trunk and we got in this time roshuan was driving. Ok so what are we going to do with all of this I ask once again. have you seen those letting go tiktoks where you write on plates and shit like that roshuan asks keeping his eyes on the road. Yea why I ask. Well where doing something almost like that, we could write on the plates, the balloons or the pieces of paper roshaun explains. We bought a bat so we could smash the vases, mason jars, the TV, the cups and wooden crates you know a way to take out the anger roshuan continued. And where are we doing this I asked. My friend has a garage he's letting us use roshuan responds. Oh ok.

We arrive at roshauns friends house and his friend walked us over to the garage.

the first thing we decided on doing writing our feelings on were the ballons and the plate.

I decided I would dedicate one of my balloons to my grandma (On her moms side)

I finished writing on the ballon letting the tears fall. I miss you I whisper before looking over at roshaun. you done i ask wiping my tears. Yup he responds. We then moved on to writing on the plate. I wrote about how I was feeling

Me and roshuan finished writing on our things and roshaun read me both his plate and ballon. One was about how the boys always excluded him and Alvaro. And the other was about an ex he had.  Which are you gonna read first roshaun asks. My plate I say.

it's been hard taking care of leilani espically because kairis rarely home. I feel like this family is falling apart and I need to fix it. I'll try to be less jealous and more patient with kairi because I know I'm also being a little toxic. I don't want to lose kairi because if I do his best friend side is going with my boyfriends side. I need to talk to kairi about how I feel because I know he wants to help and understand me but he just doesn't have that much information and I need to fix that.

I read. We threw the plates on the ground making them shatter a couple of glass pieces cutting us. I then moved on to my ballon

abuela, I know your gone and I know you won't see this but I'll pretend. A lot has happened since You left. I got closer to kairi, the friend group I would always talk to you about came together again and they call us the New Jersey crew, New Jersey squad or the New Jersey kids. I'ved gained an insane amount of money over the last couple of months. kairi grew balls and asked me out. I told my parents how I felt each time they would miss my shows for ales and we got into an arguement almost didn't show up to the 17th bday but I gave in because they pulled out the necklace we made that promise to which made me weak. I found out I was pregnant good thing katie was too she helped me through it all we were pregnancy buddies. kairi got me a dog for my birthday I named her diamond. we told everyone Me and Katie were pregnant at the birthday party. kairi proposed that same day. had lots of ups and downs with kairi but we got through them. got assualted multiple times. went to a few parties kairi got shot once and I almost did too. my water broke in Vegas and I gave birth to my baby girl named leilani rose cosentino and let me tell you abuela she's one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm so grateful to have her I just wish you could've met her she's the sweetest. I miss you abuela, a lot and I just got into an argument with kairi because I feel like I can't trust him. But leilani was taken a couple of minutes after I had given birth, she was pronunced dead but then was in a coma for a few days she then woke up and It felt amazing knowing I hadn't lost my sunshine. Also ale went to jail because of his skin tone but I bailed him out and the thing is I had to explain that the officer was being racist because the judge couldn't see it, it's sad to think about. I'm sure you already know all this because you probably watch over all of us but I just wanted to pretend like I'm talking to you. I wanted to let you know that I'm thankful for everything you've done for me, thank you for being one of my many #1 supporters, thank you for making me who I am today I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and I know I didn't say it often but thank you for this life you helped me shape. I love you so much and I need you to never forget that. as much as I wish I could tell you I love you. as much as I wish I could hear you say it back. I love you abuela I love you so much
k.r —> k.c <3