Too Many Thoughts {Poetry Book}

Based On A Dream {Short Story}

'I don't Know Why But I'm Still Waiting'

I walked into the park where we hung out everyday, I hadn't seen you since what happened. But you called and wanted to meet, you sounded happy and excited. I got a sinking feeling I don't know why, I hadn't left my room in weeks, I don't have the energy to go anywhere or speak to anyone. For you I'm actually making the choice to leave my house. 

We had been friends for a year, the best year of my life, you came into my life when I really needed you. Turns out I can't live without you, This past month has been pure hell for me, fearing I might lose you. 

I won't lie I had big crush on him and we kinda had a thing between us. Then it was like a bomb fell and everything changed.

I sat down on a bench under a tree, It wasn't long till I saw you walking up to me. I stood up wanting to give the biggest hug ever, I was so excited to see you. You gave me a quick hug then sat down.

"So, whats up?" I asked sitting next to him.

"I met someone and I really like her" He said with a huge smile on his face.

I felt my heart break into a million pieces. That explains a lot..

"oh..where did you meet her at?" I asked quietly, trying to hold back my tears and anger. 

"here at the park. we kept running onto each one day and just started talking" He said, he doesn't even notice how upset I am, no matter how much I try to hide it, he always picked up on it. 

"W-when did you meet..her?" I asked looking down at the grass.

"about a month ago, we've been hanging out alot and I really like her alot" He said smiling. 

"that's great.. Look I gotta go, I'll talk to you later" I said as I stood up.

"well next time your free, I want you to meet her" He said standing up.

"yea" I said walking away. 

~One Week Later~

My phone rang for what seemed like the millionth time this past week, I won't answer his texts or calls. finally there a knock on my bedroom door, before I shout 'go away' He walked in.

I was in shocked almost, I felt anger burning through my body. 

"you trying to avoid me?" He asked jokingly.

"nah, just busy"  I said coldly.

"busy being lazy?" He asked giggling.

no dumbass busy being sad.

"sure I guess" I said.

"well get up because today your gonna meet her" He said happily.

Great.

"alright, I guess" I said rolling out bed and throwing on my hoodie and shoes.

We walked out my house and down to the park, where she was waiting on us. 

I just kept my head down till we got to the park and I saw her, beautiful, long blonde hair, pretty face, nice smile, skinny. 

"Hi babygirl" He said as he walked up to her and kissed her.

I can't do this, I am gonna breakdown. 

"hi, you must be his friend" She said barely looking at me.

" yep best friend" I said faking a smile.

She gave me a glance, I can tell she has a problem with me.

We sat and I tried to make conversation but she was all over him and I can't do it.

"hey. I'll be right back" He said getting up and leaving us there. 

I didn't look at her or anything.

"so best friends?" She asked me.

"yep and have been for about a year" I said.

"yeah, must suck knowing you can't have himself to yourself anymore" She said with a smirk.

"excuse me?" I asked confused.

"I know about your little fling and the crush you still have on him" She said looking at me.

I couldn't say anything. I was speechless.

"You can just forget about it cause he's mine, He never liked you, he never wanted you. So leave He doesn't need you" She said with a damn smile to.

I stood up and walked away crying. I heard him calling after me,  I ignored him and kept walking but he caught up with me. 

"Hey whats wrong?" He asked as he grabbed my arm.

"Don't f*cking touch me!" I said turning around facing him.

"whats up?" He asked confused.

"I can't do this anymore, okay! it's killing me" I said. 

"what are you talking about?" He asked me.

"I can't stand by and watch you be with her, I can't live this life anymore I want everything back and I'm never getting it back, because your with her and she's perfect for you and I'm not! I was never good enough" I said crying.

"what do you want back?! " He asked getting frustrated.

"I want the man I fell in love with, I want the man who said I'll never hurt you, I want you!" I paused taking a deep breath.

"I want to sleep at night. I want to actually make through a day without crying. I want to not have to lie to my own family about whether or not I'm okay. I  want to know you would take me back in second if you could, I want to know that if you've suffered like I did, I want to know if you think about me. I want to make it through this life" I cried out. 

"before, If I wanted to take you back I would have but I met her and she's everything I ever needed. Your my friend just forget about what happened between us"  He said.

"just friends? tell me we're we just friends all those times you sent me the three am, 'come over I need you' texts? huh?" I asked getting in his face.

He stood there quiet.

"I'm done, goodbye"