mentanoia - ben gross

chapter seventeen;

Chapter seventeen;

He pulled away within a millisecond, his eyes wide open as he backed away. Feeling all color fade from his skin, the world started to rotate around him. He stumbled back inside, shaky breaths escaping from his lips.

Jane was just as shocked as Ben himself, but had found a way to calm her body down and let the sudden eruption of chaotic thoughts roam wild in her mind. Pressing her lips together, she froze completely.

Ben pushed his eyes tightly shut and started rubbing his forehead roughly. He let out a frustrated sigh as he fell back into reality. "I, um, I-" He whispered, unable to look into Jane's eyes out of fear for what her eyes would tell him, "I don't know why I did that." He blurted out, "I.. I just watched this really sad movie, that must've been why-" His words faded away in the darkness.

Jane managed to make her head bop once. She felt speechless.

"Who am I lying to." Ben cursed beneath his breath and let his chin drop to his chest. Fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he inhaled deeply. At moments like these, he envied Jane for her ability to be entirely open and honest. He had seen her cross boundaries Ben never could, to just talk about what actually was on his mind without her having to take a guess.

Jane shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She wasn't sure what she was thinking and whether the thoughts in her mind aligned with the feelings in her stomach, yet she only wanted to focus on Ben's red eyes.

A thunderstruck echoed through the streets, reminding Ben that the poor girl was still standing in the heavy rain. From head to toe, she was drenched. He stepped aside, emptying the doorway. "Oh, sorry! Come in. Please?"

Wrenching out her soaked curls outside, Jane entered the mansion. Taking of her rainboots and coat, she neatly put them away, before following her friend quietly to the living room.
The two of them sat down on the gigantic couch, but unlike the other day there was this extremely uncomfortable and awkward atmosphere hanging around. After at least three minutes of 'uhs' and 'ahs' Ben offered the girl some tea.

As he returned with two hot cups of liquid, he seemed a bit perkier. Having had enough time to clear his mind a bit, and maybe quickly take two shots of vodka too make this all a lot easier, Ben handed Jane her tea.

"What made you decide to stop by?" He asked her eventually as he watched her snuggle up against what seemed to be her favorite pillow.

Jane rolled her eyes at the question and gave Ben a look. Though they sat two full yards apart, it felt like they were almost touching shoulders. "Your birthday."

Ben blushed and quickly looked down. "Ah, yeah. I almost forgot." He giggled uncomfortably, "You really didn't have to go through the trouble-"

"Didn't seem like you minded me stopping by just then." The extremely serious tone in her voice made Ben look up into Jane's eyes. Soon enough, Ben realized it was just a trap to get him to look at her. He saw her flash a wide and playful grin and instantly started feeling more at ease.

Ben glanced at his tea. "I don't- I appreciate it. A lot." His voice came out with a crack, not necessarily helping Ben boost his self-esteem. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come onto you like that."

"I don't think I'm the one you should apologize to."

A deep frown set on Ben's forehead. Scrunching his eyebrows together, he slowly started feeling a tiny bit disorientated. Tilting his face just enough, now looking like a bit of a lost puppy, Ben cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um.." He murmured, "I'm sorry, Benjamin, for kissing Jane-"