McPricely Oneshots (Book of Mormon)

I Believe In Us

A/N: No song for this one, I'm afraid. I wrote this one at like 1am, so if it sucks, blame my sleep-deprived hysteria lmao. Please comment n shit, feedback is like crack to me. Enjoy folks!

Connor's POV:

We've been through a lot, my love. We've seen far more hardship and pain in these last few months than most see in their entire lives. But that's okay, my love. We're strong, we can make it through. We always have done, and we always will. That's what we do, we fight. We fight for what we believe in, and I believe in you, my love.

I remember that night as if it were yesterday. Seeing you in that hospital bed is an image that's I'll never forget, my love. I held your cold hand in mine, wondering if this was it for us. I had only just found you, it seemed like a bitter joke to lose you so soon. To finally find the person who made me complete, then to have you ripped away from me. And yet, the possibility of a life without you never once crossed my mind. I believed in you, my love.

I remember the phone call. I remember the metallic voice with forced emotion telling me you were hurt. I screamed, my love, I screamed and sobbed and threw my phone at the wall. It shattered beside that photo of us at Disney World that you insisted we put up. We were happy then. I always told you I hated that photo. It briefly crossed my mind that I may never get the opportunity to tell you how much that photo meant, still means to me. It was taken at a time when I believed in you, and I believe in you still, my love.

I remember staring out the window, watching the black storm clouds as they swirled and spun and dipped in a mesmerising cosmic waltz. Rain lashed down in sheets and wind rattled the glass windows. If it was any stronger, the panes would have shattered. Just as my heart did when I saw your broken body, so small, connected to all those machines. You were always so much larger than life, but now I realise that you're just a man. Even though my idyllic vision of you was broken, the unattainable superhero defeated, I still believed in you. I always will believe in you, my love.

The day you squeezed my hand, well, I don't think I've ever felt so happy, my love. I won't lie to you, I was beginning to lose hope. I thought I was going to lose you. I couldn't even begin to comprehend living a life without you in it. Every day I would come into our hospital room, replace your flowers (yellow tulips, they were your favourites. You say they're happiness in a flower) and smooth your hair out of your face. I told you about my day as if you could hear me. I even brought you Espresso Frappuccino, your favourite coffee, just in case the smell might wake you up. I prayed to every god I could think of. Nothing happened for months, yet I never stopped believing in you, my love.

The day recognition sparked in your eyes and you told me you remembered me, I think my heart just about leapt out of my chest, my love. We were watching The Little Mermaid, your favourite Disney movie. I didn't tell you why it was your favourite. It was the first movie we watched together, way back when I first asked you on a date. It poured down with rain, which threw a wrench in my plans. You kissed me and told me it didn't matter. We ordered a takeaway and we put this film on. We were so young, so naïve, so innocent back then. Funny how things change so quickly. One thing never changed. I always believed in you, my love.

I remember the nightmares, the bad days, the days where you shut everyone out. The nights that you'd wake up screaming and shaking and I'd hold you close, wishing I could have protected you. I should have been there, my love. But no matter how hard we try, we cannot undo the past. All we can do is fight it, refuse to let ourselves be consumed by 'what if's?' and 'I should've's. They're no help to us in the present. So when you are haunted by the ghost of your trauma, remember this: You can fight this battle. You've fought this war in your head, and each day you keep winning, and I am so proud of you for that. You've made it this far, just keep winning. I believe in you, my love.

It's not been easy getting here, my love. I know that there have been trials and pain and I cannot even begin to fathom what goes on in your head. Life has and will continue to throw every bad thing it has at us. I know we can make it through. We've made it this far, my love. So many times the world has kicked us down, and each time we've gotten back up with more fire, more willpower, more love. For ourselves, for one another, for the world around us. We'll continue to make it, my love. I believe in us,