McPricely Oneshots (Book of Mormon)

Plastic Lover

A/N: So this one isn't all they genuinely love one another and all, so sorry about that. maybe at some point I'll do a happy one, but today is not that day. This is based on Human by Christina Perri. Send song requests or just prompts, I don't mind. I'll try to do them. have fun and stay safe :)

Kevin's POV:

I can hold my breath, bite my tongue, keep myself silent and beautiful for you. Seen not heard, that's what I was taught. Hold back my personality, submit to you. Anything you want, I should do. That's what I was raised to do. Do whatever you command me to. Whether that be staying awake for days so you can sleep soundly, going without so you have everything. That's my job. I'm yours, yours to play with, yours to tear apart.

I'll fake smiles, force laughs, be perfect. I'll perform, just you watch. I'll take the role of that perfect lover. Hand myself over to you completely. I'll entertain your guests, cook for you, stand silent and vigilant at your side, pouring wine and acting as if I'm happy. Nobody will see the pain behind my eyes. Not even you.

I can do that for you. I'll do it all for you and more. And then, behind closed doors, I'll fall apart. I'll unpick everything I did that day, finding every tiny flaw, a slight slip of my smile, a crack in my picture-perfect mask. After all, I'm only human. I can't keep it together every second. You tell me at the end of the day that I did a good job, ready for tomorrow when I'll do it all over again. I'm not some plastic lover. I bleed when your cold words slice through me. Every day, you build me up to be this unattainable figure, and every day I fail to meet your expectations.

When you need me to, I'll turn it on with a flip of a switch. I'll be yours. I'll dance and smile and be everything you'd expect from me. I'll take the weight of the world on my shoulders if you need me to. If it'll make you proud of me for even a moment, I'll do it. I'll do it all, anything you ask. I'm so desperate to be loved. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth and back for a taste of love.

I'll get through all that. But at night, when you can't see me, I'll crash. I'll burn. I'll fall apart when you sleep soundly, unaware of what happens just a room over. I break down and cry until I have no tears left to offer, and you don't know. You try to build me up, make me feel like I can take another day of this, even if it's just for your pleasure, but I'll break down anyway. I'm not some plastic lover.

But when you smile when I do something well, god, I could watch you smile for hours. You put your hand on my cheek and tell me you love me, and I feel like maybe I can carry on. I can keep up this façade of being okay, for you. I love you. You're everything to me, you deserve nothing less than perfection. I can take it. I'll take the pain of pretending, if it means I get to see that smile. I'll be your plastic lover.