20 Days In His Bedroom

Chapter Fifty seven

I don't really understand what Kyle wants from me. Does he want me... or not? Honestly, it doesn't make much difference anymore. I don't care for him like I used to. Or do I?

The thought confuses me, twisting inside like a storm. What will I do if I go back to that volunteering job and see him again? No way. But... part of me wants to see him. I still love him. I want to cry, but I have to be stronger than that. I always imagined that when I broke up with someone, I'd be heartless. Unbothered. I wouldn't care who rejected me. But here I am, a mess of emotions.

I step outside, needing fresh air, desperate to breathe. This house feels suffocating.

I sit on the doorstep, staring up at the clear blue sky, wondering if Kyle really ever loved me.

"God, please tell me," I whisper aloud, my eyes fixed on the endless blue above. "Please make me forget him."

"God, please don't answer her," comes a familiar voice.

I snap my head down and see him—Kyle. Of course. Of course it's him. What an embarrassing moment. I'm thinking, next time he'll catch me peeing or something.

I just shake my head, silent, unsure what to say. It's so awkward.

"Do you ask God to make you forget me?" He steps closer, eyes searching mine. "I ask Him every day to keep me in your heart."

"Stay away," I moan, my voice barely a whisper.

"I can't," he replies softly.

"What do you want?" I force out, voice low.

"You." He leans down as if to kiss me again, but I jerk away.

"Don't you dare kiss me again," I scowl.

He raises his hands, apologetic. "I'm sorry. I can't just kiss you whenever I want. Plus, your mom or dad could come out any second."

"Kyle, I don't want you in my life." The words taste bitter, but I say them anyway. "You know why? Because everything you said that day... it was true. You're not good enough for me." I don't know what I'm saying. My feelings are tangled—part anger, part love.

"Stop lying." His eyes lock onto mine with an intensity that makes my heart clench. "Your eyes say everything, Twyla. You love me."

"Really? What makes you so sure?" I scoff, trying to sound tougher than I feel.

"I told you. Your eyes." He doesn't break eye contact.

I stand, trying to regain control. "Fine." I turn toward the door.

"I haven't finished," he says, grabbing my arm.

"Kyle, it's enough. You hurt me that day." I breathe heavily. "You don't want me. Go find another girl. Or maybe don't try to love anyone ever again." I try to pull free.

"Your love hurts," I whisper, closing my eyes.

"I can't leave you. I tried, but I failed."

"That's your problem." My voice cracks. "You're so selfish. You told me terrible things—about your past, about being better off without me—without caring how that would break me. And now that you failed, you're chasing me. No, Kyle. I'm sorry, but I'm no longer available. Please stay away." I squirm free and slip inside.

My heart aches. I hate myself. I hate him. I hate everything.

Dad always told me to love my life, to be thankful for everything I have. But right now, none of it works.

"Twyla." Mom's voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Who was outside?"

"Kyle." I don't bother to lie.

"What did he want?" she asks gently.

"I don't know. Seriously. He said he failed to forget me... but he tried." A tear escapes down my cheek. I hate being this weak.

"Love is so hard, Mom," I whisper, collapsing into her arms. She hugs me tight. I need her. She was right not to like me staying alone with him.

"Don't worry," she murmurs.

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I thought twice before finally deciding to go back to that volunteering job. Would he be there?

"Hello," I greeted Sabrina.

"Hey, girl. Fifteen minutes late today. You aware of that?" she grimaced.

"Traffic. Sorry," I apologized.

"Today we have a new guy. You should meet him—he'll be working with you," she said, pulling some papers from a drawer.

"Okay." I nodded.

"Sabrina, I gave Mr. John the file, like you asked," a cute blonde guy said, strands of hair falling into his gleaming green eyes.

"Great." Sabrina smiled. "Twyla, this is Jakob. You'll be partners, working as a team." Then she left.

"Nice to meet you," he said, stretching out his hand.

I shook it immediately. "Me too."

"Do you like it here?"

I smiled. "I was going to tell you to brush your hair away. It was really distracting."

"What?!" He chuckled, confused. "Maybe I shouldn't have said that right away."

"No worries. You seem like good company. And you're cute, by the way." I caught his eyes and smiled.

"Thanks." I looked down at the files I was holding.

"You didn't answer me though—does the work interest you?"

My phone rang, breaking the moment.

"Sorry. One sec." I answered but no one spoke. "Hello?" Silence. "Who is this?" I ended the call.

"What was that?" Jakob asked, concerned.

"I don't know. Weird. I heard noises in the background, but no one answered."

He frowned. "If that number calls again, let me answer. Maybe it's some creeps trying to bother you. Someone like you should have bodyguards."

I laughed despite myself.

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