20 Days In His Bedroom

Chapter Fifty five

"Twyla, away from joking and being drunk without even drinking. I want to talk to you seriously." He sniffs. Is he going to hurt me!

"What?" I hesitate before I say. I don't really know if I want to hear him or not. I'm not comfortable somehow.

"You know that I loved you, right?" He asks.

I just nod. I'm sure this is not just his point.

"You have the right to know some stuff, so you can decide if you love me as well or not." He sighs. "Oh God, I thought it would be easier. Anyway, you have to know that I am not the best man. Okay now I changed and a lot. But you may need to know some of my past. I know that past is past but....I don't know I feel that I will be comfortable telling you everything so I can get it out of my chest."

I want to stop him but at the same time I want to know.

"I dated many girls. I slept with many girls. Yeah, random girls unfortunately. I drank. My relationship with my parents sucks. I fought with my dad. Dad has enemies everywhere. I don't know if you will even be safe with me. I am not good enough for you I can't deny. But I loved you. Yeah, you took my attention the moment I saw you. You were like a little girl who is afraid of everything. At some point I wanted to hug you to comfort you and make the flight easier for you." He takes his breath. This made me have butterflies. "But after what happened. Believe me I didn't mean to lock you down with me in a hotel room. I didn't even expect that I will love you."

Somehow this made me sad. He didn't mean it. Maybe he didn't even want me in his room. I was annoying to him?

"Later on, you became my routine. I started growing strong feelings for you. It was different from any other feeling I have experienced. I loved you and I knew that it was love. It was something a bit similar but stronger than what I experienced before with....."

My heart broke. He loved another girl before me. Did he use me to forget her? Oh God. No. I knew I wouldn't have everything. I should have know better. He is a stranger. Yes, he is. He is never like me. I deserve better. But God no I loved him.

"Three years ago, I met a girl in a bar. She was gorgeous. Her eyes were so intense and I couldn't get my eyes off of her. She came and sat next to me. We talked. Her life was a mess. Complete mess. I paid for her bills. I even bought her a new car. I was ready to make all her dreams come true." He looks down in disappointment. Somehow I felt so jealous. But at the same time I pity him. He said three years ago. So, I am not a replacement, right?

"What happened? She left?" I bite my lips.

"My dad's enemy knew about this story and paid her money to use me. She took many things and left. I felt so unworthy, so stupid. I believed her and never...never thought she could do that. Dad felt disappointed from me. I don't know who should blame the other actually. I blame him for making me like a prey to his enemies and being in danger all the time or he blames me for making his enemies succeed in that? I don't want all the money. Yeah, I am living like a king but I need peace. I need a safe life without suspecting everyone around me. I don't trust anyone literally." A tear escapes from his eye. Oh my God I can't see him like that.

"Kyle. You have me here. I will always be with you. Don't ever worry. I am here." I try to comfort him. I am not the best one in that but I am trying. "Do you love me Kyle?" I ask him without realizing.

He nods. "Yeah. But I think you deserve someone better than me. Someone you could feel safe and comfortable with."

"But I want you. I don't care about all that."

"Very soon you will change your mind. Twyla, you're so innocent. I could have given you so much more. Maybe what happened broke something in me. I became so pessimistic. I won't be able to be broken twice."

"I need to go home." I say, wiping the tears that came out of my eyes. I want to hide them. I am strong. Please Twy don't cry.

"Sure." He nods as if understanding and put some cash on the table.

He gave me a ride back home. I stayed all the ride silent. He didn't talk either. I left without a word. He hurt me. He couldn't be doing that to me in my birthday night. I want to cry. To cry a lot. He didn't love me! Yeah he didn't. If he loved me, he wouldn't have said that. He's ready to give up on me. He is ready to leave. It's not my fault. I didn't do a single bad thing to you, Kyle. You are not ready to fight for me. Who am I to take him! A handsome wealthy man. Why would he choose me? But I am not bad. Maybe we are just not for each other.

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