20 Days In His Bedroom

Chapter Forty Eight

"So?" He looks at me and I look away. He gets closer and touches my chin. I push his hand away.

"So?" He takes a step backward and sighs repeating the same word.

"Kyle, it's not easy. You're talking about marriage. I didn't find my family and.....and I am still young. What am I talking about even?" As much as I know I want this man to be with me forever but this is craziness. I broke my rules. I broke so many many rules. My family wouldn't have let me stay with a man alone in a house. We kissed each other. We did so many stuff together that I hadn't done before with any guy. But still I need to find my parents first. It's killing me. I want them and I miss them. Kyle makes so much of this sadness disappears but still I feel lost without my family.

"I understand. But you're not young. You're young but it doesn't mean anything. If we want to marry, we can and no one could stop us." He stares with blinking.

"Our parents. I have to remind you that we have parents. If you can do anything to just force your mom and dad to accept what you want, I can't." I shrug.

"Why do you assume that they will refuse?" He talks after while.

"Kyle! Where are they? Where are my parents? I just want them. I want to see them." I start crying. He quickly runs to me and cuddles me.

"Shhhhh. I'm with you and you will find them. Please just be okay." He pats my shoulders.

"Will I?" I look at him with my teary eyes as if begging him to assure me. How disparate I became!

"I promise." He nods.

"We need to go to the same place and ask.. please!" I beg. I really do miss them. I need them so so much.

"Sure. Let's go now." He grabs his keys and waves to me. He surprised me but yes I want to know where they are now.

We went there to this same place and Kyle asked me to wait in his car. I know he doesn't want me to hear a bad thing. Please God keep them safe for me.

Kyle returned smiling. What!! Did they find them?

"What?" I ask running out of the car.

"I will tell you. Go back. We will talk in the car."

I did as he told me.

"They said that there are no passengers dead anymore. And they almost found all of them and even took everyone to his country. Maybe your parents are there."

I sigh. At least they are safe and nothing happened to them. Maybe I don't feel that they are in Washington now and even if, they must be dying of worry about me. I just need to think with myself. I'm just so fucked up. I need to stay alone to just decide what I really want or how I should really feel. I wouldn't deny that sometimes when I get happy, I feel guilty. Yes, I do. Am I right to feel that way? Sure I am. I didn't find my parents so I definitely don't deserve to be happy. Kyle makes me happy but actually now I need to be sad. I wanna cry over my parents. I feel guilty when I smile, when I laugh, when I enjoy a moment and most of all when I loved Kyle. Yes, I loved him at the time I was supposed to be searching for my mom and dad and crying all night. Twy, stop being a drama queen. It's not to that extent.

"Kyle." I finally speak.

"Yes." He says as if he was waiting for me. He probably noticed that I was talking to myself in my mind.

"I need to be alone." I say and tears escape from eyes.

"That's what I have been fearing. Twy, please I wanna be beside you." Kyle says but I'm not hearing him. I really need no one right now. Actually I don't want him in particular. He affects my emotions.

"I really need that." I close my eyes, begging him.

"Every time you choose to be alone but that is useless and nonsense." He groans.

"Kyle."

"Twy, don't you ever think I will leave you. It's done. I won't leave you. Not just for you but also for me." He started the car.

Oh, Kyle. As much as I really needed to stay alone and I wasn't doing that to test him and see if he's gonna stay, but he made me feel so safe. I can't describe that feeling but oh God I love him. He doesn't wanna leave me. Kyle, I love you.

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