Saving Me (A 2doc Fanfic)

3)Alone

2d brurrowed underneath layers of blankets and sheets searching for warmth. His stomach growled but he refused to go back down until  Murdoc was gone. He'd left only 15 minutes ago, he was more than likely still there. He was so stupid!

A floorboard creaked outside the door, then there was a scrape of glass on wood, like a plate and a smell of fries and chilli. He was hungry. So fucking hungry. His mouth salivated and he was pretty sure if he was in the cartoons he'd be floating in the air and drifting after the smell. He ripped the covers off and ran to the door. Maybe it was Noodle delivering food. He swung the door open with a smile.

Murdoc was squatting down setting the plate on the floor when the door flew open to a smiling 2d whose face instantly crashed. Wow, what major mood change. "Well are you happy to see me or not? I made ya chili fries and there's tea downstairs."

What was his problem? He was being oddly nice. Like way too nice. It made 2d suspicious. Murdoc was sitting on the other side of the hallway, plate dominating either side like a peace treaty.  And yes, 2d was usually quick to snatch that up but he decided to be stubborn this time."Sit. I want to talk." Murdoc commanded.

Chili fries win him over, unfortunately.

2d sat pulling the plate to him and crossing his legs criss cross applesauce. He began to pick at the meal, his stomach felt stretched and hollow. "Stuart," 2d choked, Murdoc rarely called him that anymore with that amount of concern or care.

"I'm sorry. I've been awful. I hurt you for no reason," he let out a shaky sigh and stared off to the right deep in concentration.
"I-it's ok Mudz," 2d tried. He was just so fucking hungry. Give him the food and they could act like it never happened
"No it's not. I've put you through so much, I try to change but I make it worse. I need to stop" Murdoc protested.
"Mudz really it-" 2d tried again, getting off of his bum.
"2d stop. Just say you agree with me, we fight, make up and repeat the cycle.  I'm done." He picked at the unlit cigarette in his hand "I want to quit my bad habits and better myself. Can you believe that? I-"
"No. Not really but try if yew want just don't promise y're doing it for meh." 2d snapped. 2d rose to his feet plate in hand and stormed back to his room slamming the door and locking it.

Murdoc's heart sank with the click of the knob. He was right. He couldn't change. He was an abusive alcoholic and would be nothing more nor nothing less.

He stood and lit the cigarette,  the smoke filling his lungs then departing as he breathed out. He made his way down stairs and began to clean up his mess of bottles, cigarette butts, everything.
It all went into the trash or laundry. He came to the kitchen and began cleaning in there.

Each scrub his heart broke more and more until he was kneeling on the floor clutching his chest.
He stayed like this, waiting for the empty feeling to subside but it did not relent. Sun bore on his back, birds chirped. He felt so alone but alive. This is what it was like to not be shit-faced drunk all the time. It was kinda... nice.

Footsteps sounded above him and he got to his feet leaning over the sink. He turned the faucet on letting the water run over his hands watching every drop slide over the veins.

Russel came down the stairs and saw the man standing at the sink unmoving. Probably on some wierd drug. He came closer in search for food, you couldn't hear it over the water but Murdoc was crying.