sincerely; | namjoon

eight

a couple weeks pass and you've been so distracted it feels like the world has stopped around you. you haven't even thought about touching the diary, or calling hoseok, or going back to the cafe with the cute barista.

the only thing on your mind.

is jacob.

his smile, his hair, his clothes, his scent, his eyes, his voice.

it's all him.

he still hasn't asked you out, even though you desperately want him to. work was the only other stressful thing on your mind. eternity was constantly busy, and you were moved up from dishwasher to waitress. the work was nice despite the crowds, and you loved the job.

you soon learned everything about jacob, as he was the only person you were hanging out with. his favorite color was yellow, and he worked as a bartender at a local club called uprising. he didn't go to college, he was talented in making oragami, and his favorite ice cream flavor was cherry.

in turn, he basically learned everything about you too. you were now basically inseperable, and did everything together. he never tried to advance on you but he subtly flirted with you, always succeeding in making you blush. he took you to a traveling carnival, the movies, dinner, and multiple other attractions.

you enjoyed every single one, as he always made sure you had a good time. he was funny and charming, witty, smart, handsome...you really wanted him.

speak of the devil.

"hey y/n! i brought takeout!" you hopped up from your couch, not hesitating and opening the door straight away.

you and him set up plates of food and sat together on the couch, a movie displaying in front of you. after a while he paused the movie, however, after you both had finished eating a while ago.

"hm? why'd you turn it off?" you ask in confusion, not missing the way he was staring at you.

"y/n.." he got closer to you, pulling out a small box from behind his back. where did he get that? he looked into your eyes like he was trying to find something in them, swallowing over and over. "this is for you."

he opened the small box and you gasp, heart pounding. a delicate, ornate, gorgeous necklace glints against the black material.

"jacob-i..." he shushed you, leaning in and capturing your lips with his own.

the kiss was tender, his lips pillows against yours, hot and sweet. his hands go to your neck, gently clasping the necklace onto it. he pulls back, grinning as your eyes flutter open, starstruck.

"will you be my girlfriend?"

you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him with a fierce passion. you mumble yes's everytime you pull away, only to kiss him again. your insides are white hot, skin burning, but the necklace lays cool against your exposed collarbones, soothing and peaceful.

the calm before the storm.

.

you call hoseok after jacob goes home that night, hugging your pillow to your chest.

"so, finally decided to talk to me?"

"i have been talking to you!"

"really y/n? the most we've talked for weeks was through texts and snapchat photos."

"that-that counts."

"it doesn't count for shi-"

"shush! jacob kissed me."

"wh-what?"

"yes! and then he asked me to be his girlfriend!"

"oh my god y/n that's amazing!"

"i know!"

"please don't get pregnant."

.

unable to sleep with the adrenaline still coursing through you, you roll out of bed at 4:30 a.m. your rub your eyes and glance at the nightstand, where the diary lies. you're not sleeping anyways.

march 14, 2019

dear diary,

     calla took notice of my melancholy, bringing me gifts like food and flowers, little notes attatched to them. it did make me feel better, and helped me smile. at least she was kind to me. when i finally did get out of bed she came over and i told her what had happened.

it was kind of hard to share everything, but once i started i couldn't stop. the words felt like water on my tongue, slippery and cold. the stories poured from my lips and she listened. she listened to all of it.

when i was done she hugged me and let me cry into her. i love her, and it scares me.

sincerely; n.j

march 19, 2019

dear diary,

     i asked her out on the nineteenth of march, holding a handful of flowers with a prepared speech in my mind. my hands were clammy and i was afraid the flowers would slip out of them. when she opened the door the words flew out of my head and i just asked her, "would you be my girlfriend?"

five words.

that's all it took.

i'm so glad she said yes.

sincerely; n.j