sincerely; | namjoon

twelve

hoseok burst through the door, panting. you shot up from your seat and ran over to him, immediatley hugging him. his arms instantaneously wrapped around you, letting your tears soak his shirt.

"y/n, baby, what happened?" hoseok separated you enough to wipe your tears, and you sobbed at the look on his face. you pulled away and pulled him to the table where he greeted everybody.

sitting down again, you took a deep breath and started telling the story, starting with your relationship with jacob.

.

"that bastard!"

you had just finished telling your story, feeling a little better but not any less disturbed. what if you hadn't sent the drink back? if you drank the whole thing would you have had no strength to push him off? would he actually go that far?everyone was fuming upon hearing the story too.

"guys what should i do?" you put your head down on the table, feeling defeated.

"break up with him." a soft voice mentioned and you lifted your eyes just enough to see who said it.

namjoon. he hadn't really talked throughout the story, and he looked so shy. everybody else nodded their heads at his suggestion though, and you couldn't help but let some part of you agree. jacob had just completely destroyed your trust within an hour, how would you be able to forgive him?

"i really trusted him.." you meet eyes with namjoon, who smiles sympathetically.

"sometimes the people we trust the most hurt us the worst." enough pain was laced into that sentence that taehyung, jeongguk, and seokjin looked away. "you put all your love into one person just to have it washed away, no trace of it left." jimin looked up in worry.

"joon-"

"how can your one and only leave you like you were nothing? were you always nothing?" namjoon looked at his lap with a faraway look on his face, eyes glazed. you and hoseok were visibly confused while it looked like the rest of them weren't.

"namjoon!" jimin yelled, making the room go silent. namjoon looked like he finally realized what he had done and looked up, panicked.

"i'm-i'm so sorry. i have to go." namjoon's chair scrapes as he gets up and rushes out of the shop.

everybody looks worried but nobody moves to get up. deciding that somebody should go after him, you hurriedly get up and follow the blond haired man. you find namjoon in a nearby alleyway, sitting on the ground with his head in his hands.

"namjoon?" you say softly, and said male lifts his head up and looks at you. your heart squeezes when you see his onyx eyes are pooling with crystaline tears.

quietly, you sit next to him. should you put your arm around him or something? you barely know this guy, but it hurts to hear him crying with pain.

"i felt like i was drowning." you confessed, looking at the sky. you see namjoon look at you in your peripheral but you just focus on the slow clouds breezing by. "i felt like my head was underwater and my lungs were filling with water. i couldn't breathe." you remember n.j's journal entry. "it was like i was suffocating, wasting my last breaths on my own sinking ship."

you look at namjoon who's eyes have widened considerably. he shudders. "yeah.." he breathes. "the world is a cruel place..."

it's silent for a while, before namjoon speaks up. "i've lived here for almost five years. i had a girlfriend a couple years back who treated me like i was the only thing that mattered." some part of you deflates after hearing about this 'girlfriend'. "she tore me apart overnight. cheated on me and told me she never loved me." namjoon's tears spill over his lashes now. your own are now glistening in your eyes. "i had never felt more alone. i haven't dated in years." a choked giggle huffs past namjoon's lips and you pull back, a little startled. "wow, i...i've never told anyone that before.

"doesn't jimin know?" he seemed like his best friend, you be surprised if he didn't...

"i only told my friends she dumped me. they still don't know the reason why." namjoon looks at you, lips quirking upwards.

"i've never met anyone like you, y/n."

heart startling, you look down at his nametag again, even though you know what'll be there.

namjoon.

wait.

namjoon!

no, wait, it's a coincidence. it has to be. but then again, it all connects. namjoon's initials have to be n.j, who happens to have a best friend named jimin, who happens to work at a coffee shop. and namjoon just happens to have had a girlfriend at the time the diary entires were written. eyes widening and hands shaking in realization, you stand up on shakly legs.

"i have to go."

"wait, y/n!-" namjoon tries to call after you but you're already gone.