the vampire Diaries soulmates

Chapter 31 Scared

WARNING TALKS ABOUT SELF HARM. EATING DISORDER. WARNING 

Chapter 31 Scared 

Third person POV. 

Fawns heart flutters at how caring he was towards her. She had thought it through so many times before she went to the boarding school to talk to him. To tell him everything. She didn’t and she wished she did and then again she didn't want to tell him, she thought that it was the best choice to keep it to herself, it was her problem to deal alone, even though she didn’t need to deal with it alone.  

Jeremy thumb stroked her cheek softly, his eyes locked with hers. He was pissed that he didn't know that his best friend and the love of his life was hurting herself. He had this feeling years ago that something was wrong with her, but he pushed the feeling away. He blames himself for pushing it away. He could have gone and talked to his friend about what he was feeling and he might have found out what was wrong with her. Maybe it could have helped. 

It would have, but Fawn was wrong to think he wouldn't care for her if she had left for good. She shouldn't have closed herself off and not talked to him. They told each other everything and she lied to him. She felt horrible for lying to him. 

"I should have talked to you. I had a feeling something was wrong but I pushed it away and did nothing with it. I should have known" he said. Fawns sighs, she pulls his hand off her cheek and kisses his palm before placing his hand onto her lap to hold softly. 

She sat there for a minute thinking about what she was going to say to him. She was going to be honest with him, no more lying, just the truth. "I made sure no one knew how I was. I made sure mom, Caroline, my doctors, my teacher and plenty more people... didn't know that I was doing myself. It was extremely hard with you. You always liked holding me... I didn't want you to feel how skinny I was or feel my scars and fresh cuts" she said. 

Jeremy whipped her tears away as he continued to listen to her heartbroken. "I hated hurting or lying to you" she kissed his palm again. She continued again. "It was hard for me to open up to anyone... even you. I was scared that you would be mad at me and then want to leave me if I told you what I was doing to myself" she said.

She brought one of her hands up to whip her tears away. "I thought you would leave so I kept it to myself. I didn't want to leave you. I fought to stay... but I lost. I was sent to the boarding school" she said. "How did you get sent to the boarding school?" He asks her softly. 

Fawns takes a shaky breath in and out, she squeezes her eyes tightly and hot tears escape from her eyes. She bites her lip and shakes her head. "I... Mom found me... the day she sent me away, in the bathroom... there..." she chokes. "There. There was blood on the ground and on my arm and stomach. I couldn't handle it anymore. That day Caroline said awful things to me. My mind was wandering off so much that I didn't realize what had happen until it was to late" 

Jeremy's heart stopped as he listened to her. "Mom called for an ambulance and I was sent to the hospital and after that I was sent to the boarding school. I didn't want to go and I fought as much as... i could… and that was very little since i had lost a lot of blood. I passed out when they got me in one of the wheelchairs" she said. She whipped her tears again and kept her eyes away from his.

Jeremy whipped his tears away and squeezed her hand, "Are... are you better now?" He asks her. She stayed quiet and looked at their entwined fingers. Jeremy got worried quickly, "Faith. Are you better?" He asks again. 

"In away I am better. But I have some off days. Some days I won't eat, some days my mind wanders to places I don't want to go back into" she said. She couldn't take it anymore. She covers her eyes and cries into her hands. 

Jeremy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him and held her tightly. "I'm so scared," she cried out. Jeremy pulled her away from his chest and looked into her eyes, "What are you scared about?" He asks her. 

She squeezed her head and tried not to cry, "I don't want to hurt you, nor my other soulmates" she adds on. She choked and covered her mouth. He brings his hand up to her cheek, "How would you hurt me?" He asks. 

She bites her lip really hard as she tries to stop her lip from quivering, she opened her mouth but quickly closed it. She takes a deep breath in as she tries her best to calm herself down enough so she could speak. "I... I. By hurting myself again or not eating for days on end" she said quietly. 

"Please don't leave me" 

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