Moving on: an Everlark fanfic

After the rebellion

Life's been horrible. Anything that was anything to me is either dead or has long abandoned me. I miss Gale. I thought he was my friend. But I guess all that's over considering he left without even saying goodbye. And with the bombs-
"No Katniss, don't think of her" I say to myself. Even the thought of her brings me to tears. Prim.. my sweet, beloved Prim. She was too young.. too innocent. And I wasn't there to protect her.
I feel fresh, hot tears leaving trails down my cheeks for what seemed to be the millionth time today. That's basically my life at this point.
In my sleep, I have to deal with the horrible nightmare. I get to relive all of the games, the hardships, the deaths, every night.
And there's no relief in waking up either. I get to be stuck in this dreaded, quiet, lonely, oversized house all by myself with all those sweet memories of her taunting me. But I can't find the courage to get up and leave. Because I know all I'll ever see outside is the ashes and corpses. All dead. All my fault. So I just stay in here, trying to figure out what to do with myself. ----------------------------------------------
Peeta's POV.
I finally got released from the hospital today after what seemed like forever. According to my doctors, I have almost if not completely reached my old self again. I have most of my memory back and I'm not so dark and violent anymore. Of course, I know I'll never be completely back to the way I was. There is still a bit of the venom in me that I guess will always be there. I still get flashbacks occasionally though. Oh well, at least it's an improvement.
I finally get to go home. Even if it is all ashes and rubble now, it was the place I grew up and lived my life. It will always be home. And besides, I hear Katniss is back as well.
My heart aches just thinking about her. I've missed her so much. Everyday I was here, she was the only thing on my mind. I hope she's doing alright. I heard about Prim, so the possibility of her being "alright" is very slim. I wish I was there to hold her in my arms. Give her a shoulder to cry on. And protect her from all the evils in the world. Just like old times..
But what if she doesn't want me anymore? Oh get over yourself, Peeta, of course she doesn't want you anymore. You almost killed her. She doesn't love you. And I bet she's probably with Gale at this very moment.

---------------------------------------------- AN--So that's the first chapter. Ya I know, it probably sucks but I really appreciate everyone that took the time to read what I have so far. I would love to hear what your ideas, suggestions, and what you think generally so please comment. I'll try to update soon, hopefully. Farewell to all my wonderful readers out there and to all a goodnight 😜❤️
-gigi