TFATWS X READER

Until Death

Your POV

I slightly moved around, trying to adjust myself with the bright light blinding my eyes. My heart was racing, pumped with adrenaline.

Where the hell am I?

I panicked as I realized that my hands were strapped down, and tried to escape, but my attempt was almost useless. I was weak, barely had any energy left in me.

"Hey, hey. It's alright. Calm down" A very, very familiar voice spoke to me.

Too familiar.

I looked at the person holding me down, and froze.

We both locked eyes. I could not believe it, impossible. 

My eyes teared up, still stunned by what I'm witnessing.

"James?" I said softly, with my mouth slightly parted.

He smiled, slightly. His eyes spoke for itself, I could sense pain, anger, and shock.

"(Y/N)" He said, with tears threatening to fall. 

Without saying another word, he approached me and uncuffed my hands. Then we pulled each other into a long hug. I let out a sigh of relief and closed my eyes as I buried my face into his shoulder.

"They told me you were dead" He said with pain in his voice as he sat beside me. We looked at each other again, trying to digest the situation. 

I was dead? HYDRA is utterly fucked up.

"They didn't tell me anything about you" I pressed my lips. "Couple weeks later, Derek told me you escaped" I smiled softly.

"I waited for you to come get me" I bit my inner cheek.

"You know I would have come back for you, those bastards lied to me--"

"It's not your fault" I answered immediately, because its true. 

"What did they do to you?" He asked with pain in his voice.

I stared blankly at the wall for a couple of seconds and rubbed my head, still feeling like shit. I hate this feeling.

"After you were gone, they desperately needed a new Soldier. Someone like you. So they kept doing countless of experiments, they drained me, put me through unimaginable pains. Trained me to fight, with weapons and fighting styles." I said as I painfully took a deep breath.

"And to fight with this" I waved my hand, showing the glowing blue aura from my hand. 

He looked at it, I could not really tell what he felt about that.

"Yeah, I've seen... footages" He said. 

I nodded. "So you've seen the damage I've done"

"They didn't care if I was drained. They just wanted their experiment to be a success-- and it did. Four months later, I became what they called 'suitable' for high profile murder missions. Which I of course refuse to comply" I looked at him.

His eyes widened.

"(Y/N), did they---?"

"Exactly what they did to you. They put my brain in the blender. They brainwashed me. Ten goddamned words. They made me into a monster" I grunted and leaned towards the bed frame.

He was shocked, trying to process what I had just said. 

"Fucking assholes!" He said in frustration. 

"I still feel like shit right now, you know that feeling right? We're probably the only ones that do" I let out a small, bitter laugh. 

But James was angry, really angry. I could feel it. I noticed his clenched fist. 

"I don't know how will I be able to live with myself, after what I have done" 

He looked at me. 

"I'm a murderer" 

He shook his head. "No, None of this is your fault (y/n). I need you to know that, please. This is not your fault" He put his hand on my shoulder, comforting me. 

I shook my head. "They made me kill people. People with families, and I couldn't do anything about it. I---I still can see the fear in their eyes, begging me to stop an----" My anxiety was kicking in, causing me to stutter.

"Hey, (y/n). Stop. It isn't your fault, and I know its going to be hard but I will help you. I need you to trust me" He looked at me, trying to calm me down.

Flashes of memories sparked in my head, of when we were back in HYDRA. We were inseparable, always there for one another. Until those bastards separated us.

"I thought I'd never see you again" I said to him. 

"I'm never leaving, (y/n)"

"Hey" I looked at him.

"Don't worry about me" I gave him a reassuring smile.

He shook his head. ,"(Y/N), what Hydra did with you is fucking unacceptable, you're a kid. And I won't let those sons of bitches to get away with this"

I didn't say anything as a doctor walked into the room and held his hand as the doctor approached me.

Let's just say I'm traumatized, from past experiences.

He held out a needle.

Fuck no.

"Look at me" James said.

"It's alright" He said reassuringly.

He knows my fear of needles. I just hate the idea if something poking through my skin into my body. You could hit me, throw me against a wall, anything. But a needle in me? Hell no. 

Back in Hydra, James always made sure I was safe. He took care of me, like an older brother.

I flinched as the doctor injected me.

"Deep breaths (y/n). You got this" He said as he calmly held my right hand. The whole time I just stared into his eyes, because I know I'm safe with him.

After that, the doctor immediately went out.

"You're alright" He smiled softly.

"Thanks" I whispered.

We sat in silence for a while.

"You need to rest more, (y/n)" He said as he made me lie down.

"I will be going to talk---"

"Stay, please?" I interrupted. I was afraid, afraid that he would walk out and never come back, and that this is all only a dream.

He looked at me with his soft eyes as he grabbed a chair and sat beside my bed. 

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'll take care of you alright. Do smerti?"

My eyes widened when he said that. He remembered.

I nodded. "Do smerti" I said as I slowly drifted to sleep.