life :p

ay wHoOp-

bish i was so fricking happy today
like
when i thought my day couldn't get better
my sunshine came whopping into my life like it wasn't a big deal but bro it IS

okay so
i'm pretty sure that my cRuSh is sTiLl my cRuSh
let me tell u why
so today i had to get my ass to school to get my grade list thingy, fortunately, my friend was sleeping at her sisters so she was nearby my house. we decided to bike to school together and we said like "at 11:15 at my house". so when it was 11:15, i was waiting outside for her buT NO SHE IS ALWAYS LATE LIKE GURL BE ON TIME FOR ONCE. but okay. while i was waiting for her, a lot of people were biking past me from time to time.
suddenly a figure in clothes of a football club nearby my house AND elementary school appeared in the distance. and i tried to hide myself by just looking at my phone because there are some people i really dislike of that club. 
and oh, oH- suddenly someone called me. "hey valerie"

someone: hey valerie
my thoughts: that voice sounds familiar
me, looking up: oh hi

bruh i probably smiled sheepishly because this bish here was so embarrassed :/
yEs, thAt iS dEaN, mY cRuSh. sigh.
but i was happy tho
as i said before, i thought i would probably not see him again till summer break's ending and school's starting. but thank god decided to give me one last time to see him before not seeing him for a long ass time.
and since my friend still wasn't here yet, i peeked at his back for god knows how many times. my friend wasn't even coming from that side but no one knows and no one cares, whipidi whopidi whew.

after me and my friends got to school, we just went to the classroom and sat down at a random seat. i saw that a box with drawing supplies we needed to use for art class that belongs to him was on the table, which was weird, since he practically needed to be at school an hour earlier ???
but okay
my teacher and the other students were talking about something, but i wasn't paying attention, i was just tHiNkInG ygm. i picked up a few things tho like "couldn't be here earlier" "joining now"
i was wondering who that could be, not that i cared, so i continued thinking. and other things.
my teacher then finally started to speak et cetera et cetera.
some more classmates walked in et cetera
suddenly
sUdDeNlY
he walked into the classroom
i was so confused, but then i got it, he was the person who couldn't be there in the morning :o
i was so happy but
bUt
i suddenly got uncomfortable
like i sat like how i was comfortable first, but then he came and i was like "um am i sitting okay??? i'm so uncomfortable can u go away please??? no don't go i enjoy your existence here :3"
sorry for my cringiness but it is the truth so yeah. but i still was uncomfortable, even though i wanted to peek at him so many times.

lmao my cringed mind went further: omg did he change times to see me?
but then i reminded myself of him having football training -_-
but okay i was still happy he was there. :D

after school i went to a boba store across my house with my friend and bro their boba was so good istg
(@-ilyoongs we really need to go together)

anyways it was just a really fun day, this is probably definitely one of the highlights of my 13th year of life.

btw i was thinking if i should text my crush in the summer vacation. like we dONT EVEN TALK TO EACHOT-
wait a second
wait a fricking second.
WHAT
LIKE I SAID HE FLIRTED WITH ME BEFORE
HE WOULD DO PRANKS ON ME BUT LIKE REALLY ONLY ME (and i would take them wrong -_-)
OR LIKE BACK IN THE DAYS HE SAT BEHIND ME AND PULLED MY HAIR WHILE HE NEVER DID THAT WITH THE OTHER GIRLS WITH A PONYTAIL???
AND um wait let me recall more moments of life
OH THAT TIME THAT I CRIED IN GYM CLASS, LIKE WHY WAS HE EVEN LOOKING AT ME IM NOT INTERESTING.

like my school is a "kakkersschool"
so since i don't know how to explain what a "kakker" is, i googled it and translated it:

a person is a kakker (cock?) if they think they are more than others. and thinks they're more because of their origin, money or status.

i'm pretty sorry but i hate those people.
anyways, dean is a kind of kakker? half ig. but so i thought, ¿¿¿ why would he be interested in a cHiNeSe gIrL wHo lIkEs kPoP aNd WhO eVeRyOnE tHiNk iS wEiRd ???

i still don't get it tho so don't ask me.
and like every kakker at my school is a non kpop fan so :p

hm
back to the topic, let me recall the topic for u:
we never talk. he flirted but that's it. w e  n e v e r  t a l k e d.
once i congratulated AND complimented him bc it was his bday, guess what he said. "thx"
only. that. i was so angry and that is the day where i decided to stop lOvIng him and wrote a song. for him. in 30 minutes. but that's another story
anyways, we never talked so what i want to say is: why did he suddenly called me today/yesterday?
boys are difficult to understand.

anyways let's get back to the main topic:
i was thinking about texting him in the summer vacation but we never talk to each other so would that be weird?
idk man
maybe i can say that it is a mistake but still ask him how he's doing?
i'll see :3
anyways,
i really need to stop messing with my sleeping routine.
so adios amigos
good nightt

--
written 01/02-07-2020
posted 02-07-2020
word count: 1035