Passion

bad memories stay here longer

"Hello?" I shouted into the dark forest. I was surrounded by nothing except leaveless tress.

I walked around, seeming as if I wasnt moving at all. Everything looked the same. Everything repeated itself. It was endless.

My legs moved repeatedly into the darkness until I feel face down onto the dirt ground. Something sharp poked my cheek once it had landed on the ground. I slowly lifted my head and saw that I had falled into a pit full of bones.

I tried to scream but I couldn't. Something was caught in my throat. I coughed multiple times until something came out of my mouth. All of a sudden bugs were flying out of me and the bones around me became bloody. With a single eye blink, the bloody bones underneath me were gone and everything around me was pitch black.

My eyes shut open from what seemed an endless dream. I gasped for air as my body impulsively sat up on the bed and not the dirt floor. I looked around and soon realized I was in my room, sweating on my bed. Like every other night. These nightmares kept lasting longer and I hated it.

Tears ran down my face from all the bad memories that just come through my head. I felt weak as I whimper on my bed.

I layed back down on the wet spot my head had left and cried some more. I tossed and turned feeling my cheeks get wetter from the salty tears that streamed from my eyes.

I felt so lonely here. The room was so dark and lonely. I tried to collect my thoughts and just not think about anything except sleep right now. I wiped my eyes and decided to checked the time on my phone.

5:28 A.M
Thursday, June 4

I decided to just get ready for the day and forget about ever sleeping again. I wiped my face as I got up from the bed and walked over to my closet. The last day of school when everyone is happy to never see each other again. This is the day we have to force ourselves to cry for people that we never once liked. This was the worst day. After today I would have to worry about many other things that isn't school related and people that torture my space. I would have to worry about a whole new schedule.

I walked in the bathroom and tried to quickly shower before waking anyone up. Once I was out, I brushed my teeth and walked into my room, holing tightly to the towel that was wrapped around my body.

It didn't take me long to have an outfit ready. Today was also the only day of the school year that we can wear something casual, since the whole year we are obligated to wear uniforms. I decided on a oversize white graphic shirt and black joggers with my vans I found at a thrift store.

I laid down on my bed, my old fucked bed, and just thought about how I'm going to cry about people I never even talked to. No one at this school has ever acknowledge my presence since sophomore year when my glow up decide to catch up with me. There are so many people at this school who have watched me drown in my own sorrow and have never asked me the simple question...Are you okay? No one. Not even my own family. But yet they want to diagnose me and send me to a therapist that I have to pay for. I'm okay with it, though. The less time I spend here, the better.

My alarm went off on my side table. This is the alarm that wakes everyone up. This is the alarm that feeds everyone in this household.

I let a small sigh out, getting up and turning the alarm off. I left a wet spot on the pillow from my hair but could care less and just did my bed as neatly as possible. It's time for another day where all I dread is endless sleep with no nightmares.

It was currently 6:00 A.M. I walked out of my room and into the very small hallway that stood between my room and hell. Only five steps away from my parents room. I walked towards their room and knocked on the door for them to wake up before heading to the kitchen to cook breakfast and lunch for everyone.

My sister had recently just moved back in with her kid. The endless torture of this. I made sure to cook enough for everyone. When you live middle class, almost lower class, you have to get creative on how you use your food and how you make it. We don't have a lot of groceries to make a whole meal, but today I can finally take the time to do so.

Everyone was up by the time me and my brother had to leave for school.

"Ten cuidado hijo."Be careful son. I heard mom say to Leo. I didn't expect her to give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me those kind words every mother tells her daughter. I don't expect anything from her anymore.

It didn't take long for the bus to get to our stop. The bus was less crowded today. I bet they got their parents to take them to school and probably stop them to get breakfast from a fast food place.

I sat by myself, as usual, and just stared out the window. It looked so peaceful outside today. Not so much traffic. The sun made everything look beautiful in the morning.

Once we arrive at the school, we got off and went straight inside, without saying a word to my younger brother.

The hallways got crowded quickly with joyful teenagers. Their laughter ached my ears.

How can someone be so happy?