She

Him(01-01-2019)

I can't accept these emotions I have for him

If I do... it'll become too real,which I can't handle...

I don't have the courage to fight for what it might be...

I don't think I can ever accept the truth about him and me to the people who I consider the most important, let alone the world...

I'm scared for the first time,that I might be judged...

I know I don't have it in me to fight for what makes me happy...

He makes me happy, so damn happy that sometimes I feel I might have lost my mind that my happiness relies on someone's existence...

He has a hold on my emotions... emotions that I myself have no control over...

I don't regret all the things I have done with him... and this in itself scares the hell out of me...

I'm not me when I'm with him...

I'm trying not to overthink this but I'm scared if I make up my mind... I might not be able to stick by my decision...

And if I ever decide of not continuing... I might have to live without breaking down

F*ck... I'm screwed either way...