Learning To Fly

ch5

Jimin pov

Its been 2 weeks since those tryouts happened and I avoided that group like a virus, well, like I do everyone else. I have no friends at school because of my secret, and I have a bunch of mental problems like depression, anxiety, anorexia and probably a bunch of undiagnosed stuff that includs nightmares that prevent me from sleeping or needing to vomit food when I eat something.

When people tell me I'm too skinny I just think they are lying because I hear it so often. My skinny arms, legs, everywhere. I get crippling back pains because my back is weak, my wings lack all of the muscles to hold themselves up so they are basically dead weight.

The reason that boy said my thighs looked strong is I walk alot and the muscles are more prominent because there is basically no fat on them.
I hide my body with super baggy clothes and hoodies but when its summer I don't change so I run to the bathroom in the middle of class to faint from overheating and lack of food. People have asked about it before but I don't talk unless absolutely necessary so everyone who was curious just thinks I have some disease that I don't want to talk about.

I decided to skip school today because my painkillers ran out and I will probably collapse at school or something. Mrs Choi didn't even ask why anymore because I skip quite alot these days, just come up and tell me she's getting me more of my pills.

"Jimin, you skipping again?"

I rolled over slowly and when my back arched in pain she knew, as always, the perfectly respectable reason why I couldn't get out of bed again.

The high pitched moan that came from my throat gave it away.

"OK, I'm going to work and I'll have your pills when I'm home at 5:30 alright?"

I nodded and she shut the door, leaving me in the dark room unable to get up, which I was greatful for, I hate it when people see me at my worst.

The day went so slowly, my brain pounding with a headache the whole time.

When everyone got home from school, my roommate Taemin came in and chucked the paper bag with my prescription on my bed with a short

"There ya go."

My throat was still burning so I raised my hand and gave him a thumbs up, my face still covered with a pillow.

"Don't mention it."

Then I heard the door shut again, gentler than usual, probably to not make much noise.

Taemin wasnt really my friend, but he was a good listener, he didn't really have a choice, being my roommate.

I fell back into darkness but before I knew it my alarm rang in the morning.