Mesmerized | ✓

17

Who would have guessed that a pair of sunglasses matched with a black dress would make for a perfect disguise? Robin was invisible in the crowd of mourning people. Even her own brother didn't recognize her as he sat two rows ahead and his eyes even landed on her for a second or two. The girl fiddled with her fingers and kept biting down on her bottom lip waiting for Yuli to walk on stage and begin his song.

She had spend the last couple of days completely and utterly heartbroken. She had been victim to unrequited love a few times before but it had never tormented her to such extent. She was unable to sleep, unable to swallow anything. Her parents were clearly getting worried about her but after hearing her confession that she was just lovesick they offered hugs and were more understanding, probably expecting that it would pass after a couple of days.

But Robin knew the feelings wouldn't just fade away. They would eat at her insides until there was nothing left of her but a hollow mannequin. She needed to get Yuli alone, to convince him just how perfect they were for each and that she would comfort to his way of living as best as she could. He had to understand that.

The girl kept staring at the stage but her eyes weren't seeing the people performing on the wooden platform. She could already see Yuli standing in the middle, a creature too perfect to have been created by any kind of divinity. Robin was convinced that Yuli was the divinity, a god superior to all others, creator to all life. The beginning and ending of everything that existed.

And then there he was, seemingly having appeared out of thin air. Yuli walked up the stage accompanied by some girl that Robin vaguely remembered as Carl's only friend. She wanted to run up to them, strangle the girl with her bare hands and take her place by Yuli where she had always been meant to be.

The music started and that was when Robin heard Yuli's soft singing voice. It felt like the sweetest balm was being pressed delicately onto all of the wounds on her soul. But she shouldn't have expected anything less from Yuli. It was exactly how it was supposed to be. Robin smiled, though the feeling was bittersweet, mostly bitter as she remembered Yuli's behavior that had deeply hurt her. But it was okay. Everything could still be fixed.

Robin watched the whole performance in awe, wishing only that they were alone in the room and that the song wasn't in memory of a girl that she had watched Yuli kill but rather that it was an ode to her or a love-expressing serenade. Yuli didn't even once look at her and it broke her heart. She waited patiently for the song to end and when it did and they left the lecture hall, Robin raised from her seat and went to confront him about her feelings.

Not knowing her way around the college building Robin found herself wandering the hallways and having no idea where to even begin looking for Yuli. She took off her sunglasses trying to blink away the tears that had gathered in her eyes but they wouldn't stop coming. She tried to lift her spirits by thinking of that party, remembering what it felt like to have Yuli's soft lips on hers, to dance with him on the table.

But the truth was that he probably just didn't care about her despite what she knew about him, despite her accepting everything about him, no matter how scary or foolish it would seem to other people. Not knowing what to do with herself Robin found a restroom and locked herself inside one of the bathroom stalls. She sat down on the closed toilet seat, brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them with her arms all the while silently crying.

Why did it have to be that way? Why couldn't she be what Yuli needed her to be? Those questions circled Robin's mind as she rested her head on top of her knees and closed her eyes breathing deeply. Some girls entered the restroom and talked in sad voices about the dead girl but Robin paid them no mind choosing to focus on her own misery instead.