misfits // z.m

ch. 29 || shift

XXIX. shift

▬▬▬

[3rd person]

The days seemed to become greyer as the month passed. Zayn felt miserable, downtrodden, stupid. He hated himself for being so useless and out of control, and for leading Perrie on. She continued to visit him, and he didn't have the heart to tell her that, although she was nice, she wasn't Thalia, and that was who he needed right now. If only he'd said so before he fucked her.

Sometimes it rained so much he was reminded of the night when he found her in the street, soaked from the rain, and carried her home. He watched her sleep for the first time; he may have loved her even then.
He wanted it to rain forever nowadays; it somehow made him feel something the cigarettes didn't.
His boys weren't as supportive of him as he'd perhaps hoped. Louis called around every few nights when they weren't together, and sometimes Niall and Harry would video call him. Silently, they thought he was an idiot. They knew Thalia was stubborn and would probably never forgive him.
It was Liam and Danny who were the most supportive. Of all his mates, they were the closest.

Zayn knew he didn't deserve the support, he was fully aware of what he'd done and hated himself for it, but he needed someone. In the meantime, journalists and the paparazzi were going crazy for this new scandal: celebrity breaks up with celebrity, but then goes back to her. It just gave him no substance; he hated being made a fool of.
Perhaps it was just purely because of self-pity that he wanted Lia back.

He visited her house a few nights ago, November 23rd, but she wasn't in. Dana was. He was clearly unwelcome there he realised, as Dana opened the door and fixed him with a solid glare.
"What are you doing here?" When he didn't reply, she crossed her arms across her chest and continued to frown. "She trusted you, Zayn. And I don't fucking know why. She learned to trust you more in five days than me in the year I've known her."
He sighed, shoulders drooping. "I know. B-but where is she?"
Dana laughed, "Not here, mate. She left for Paris two nights ago. She's not coming back."
"She's gone?" He asked, his voice whispering the last word.
Dana sighed and nodded. "She's gone."

Zayn left shortly after. His heart was aching, his eyes burning. He willed himself not to cry but, when he thought of sleeping next to her and seeing the way her black hair pooled over the pillow, when he remembered trying to figure her out and why she was the way she was, he couldn't help but shed a tear.
Something in him wanted her more than anything. Maybe he even needed her. He just wanted to be beside her, wiping the tears from her cheeks, telling her he was sick of saying sorry but was willing to repeat it until she forgave him.

▬▬▬

[Thalia's POV]

The start of December came around quickly. Before I knew it, autumn was over, and so was our deal. I watched the rain trickle down my window as I washed the dishes.

Zayn phoned me often. So often that I blocked his number. I hoped he hated me now, maybe then he'd finally leave me alone. I was okay. Very okay. I didn't need him anymore, honest.

My phone vibrated on the kitchen counter and I sighed, drying off my hands and picking it up.

From: Dana
hey babe, how's Paris? imysm but hopefully once ur settled I can visit? keep in touch, I love u x

Smiling sadly, I realised how bad it was of me to leave Dana. The night I got to the hotel, I phoned her - she was in her room at uni. I tried to tell her I was gone, but for about five minutes, all I could do was cry down the phone. Dana was the best friend I could ever ask for, how could I leave her?