I'll Catch You || Johnnyboy

Chapter Five

(A\N OMG IT HAS BEEN WAY TO DAMN LONG I'M SO SORRY. I'm working on a novel atm and I completely forgot about my fanfic. Speaking of a novel, would you guys like to see it when it's completed? Or a little preview of it? LMK! Btw, next chapter is gonna be full of fluff, don't worry, that's enough angst for now-)

Song/quote: Little Things - One Direction (just listen to the song while you read, pleaseeee)

Ponyboy POV

When I opened the door it felt like the world fell out from under me. "Johnny...?" I gasped, hurrying to his side.

He was curled up in the corner of the bathroom, blood seeping from the cuts on his wrists that I couldn't bring myself to look at. I choked back a sob, feeling sick to my stomach.

Pulling him close to me, I heaved his delicate body onto my muscular shoulders and carried him into our - I mean his - bedroom. The blood got onto the sheets but at least here he wasn't in a pool of it. Then I ripped off a strip of my shirt and tied it as tightly as I could manage around the wounds.

"Johnny... oh dammit Johnny what did you do??" He only started crying harder, so after I finished tying the makeshift bandage I sat down beside him on the bed, putting my arms around him and squeezing him like maybe if I could hold him tight enough I could make all of this just go away. Maybe I could protect him from himself. Something in my heart fluttered sadly at the thought.

"I-I'm sorry Pony... I-I thought you hated me, I couldn't imagine what I was gonna do if you did, man, you're the best thing in my life, I can't lose you, I can't I just can't..." He took a shaky breath. "I meant what I said earlier... I love you... that's why I didn't cut any deeper. I knew it'd hurt you if I died. Well, I thought it might anyway."

Might? Losing Johnny would do more than maybe hurt me, it would kill me.

"Johnny," I whispered, shaking my head into his beautiful curls, lips brushing the top of his head, almost kissing him. "I'm so so sorry. I love you too, man."

Johnny suddenly pulled back. "What do you mean by that?" There was an edge to his voice that wasn't there before.

"What-"

"You said you loved me? What do you mean by that, Pony?" His eyes were big and round and adorable but filled with tears, he looked both desperate for me to say something and resigned to the fact that I would not.

"I mean... dammit, what do you think I mean? I love you, of course I do, we're like brothers, right?" The words were truthful. At least, I think they were. I was trying so very hard to ignore the fact that over the last few days had become even more obvious.

"Oh. Okay," the beautiful boy beside me said in a tone that positively tore my heart in two, and I realized—no, it wasn't possible, right?—that maybe we were both feeling the same thing. Maybe I just had to be brave enough to say it. Maybe—

And then as if I wasn't in control of my body, as if some God up above made it happen, our lips brushed together, and I melted into my 'best friend' of ten years.