Winter Queen (Roger Taylor fanfic)

12. ...Mary was right

Once he was sure she's alright, he went back downstair, where Mary and Freddie were cleaning up. He took another bag and picked up some trash.

"Thank you both so much." he said, when they finished. Freddie just waved his hand, but Mary was outraged.

"Clean up in you life, Roger." she recommended.

"What was that?"

"Either she's a girl you want to get drunk and high with and then fuck, or she's a girl you actually care about. In the first case, just do it and let her go, but in the second one, be a man."

"She's not... She's not like that, Mary. I don't know." he sighed and sounded devastated.

"I know, you don't" Mary nodded. She picked up last glasses and brought them to the sink. "I'll sleep upstairs with her, to bude sure."

Josie was surprised in the morning, that nothing ached her. It took a while to find all the pieces of last evening in her mind. She remembered taking the drug soaked paper in Roger's home studio, she remembered being on fire on the dancefloor with him, but then it was just fear, wasp swarms, russian shouts, shooting, radio announcements.

She had no idea how she got into the bed, this particular bed and worried, who is in it with her. She turned around and there was Mary, fresh and well, sitting with a book on her lap.

"Good morning." she greeted cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Where's Roger?"

"Downstairs with Freddie. He took care of you, put you to bed, I just watched you tonight."

"We did... What hapenned, I remember... Oh God." Josie mumlbed.

"What's the last thing?"

"I wanted to leave with him, but something happened, as if I fell asleep and had nightmares."

"Yeah, it turned bad and you went from euphoria to paranoia. Bad trip. The basic rule of stuff like that is, it'll intensify what you really feel. Not what you're pretending, in front of everyone or even yourself. You're happy, you'll feel amazing. Are you not? That's what's gonna happen."

"I'm not unhappy."

"As I said, it doesn't matter who you lie to. I'm no Freud, but I'd expected that from you."

Josie sat up and sighed.

"Sometimes, almost all the time, I can't understand myself."

Mary got up and made the bed negligently.

"I know we don't know each other very well. But if I can give you an advice, give it some time. You need it, Roger needs it. Don't try to speed it up with drugs or alcohol." Mary said. Josie knew she was right. She also got up and went to smarten up to the bathroom.

Boys were already up and Freddie was making breakfast this time. On the plate next to cooker were slowly piling up pancakes. Josie stopped at the door, she felt unclean in the yesterday's dress.

"Good morning."

"Morning."

Roger quickly got up, like she cought him doing something bad. She braced herself.

"Rog, can you..." She asked and indicated him to go to the living room. He nodded and then closed the door behind them. They sat on the couch.

"I want to apologize about yesterday."

"No, wait, I should be the one apologizing. I should've known better." Roger shook his head.

"Come on, I wanted it, I took it and than... I completely destroyed your party, Mary said you had took care of me, so thank you..."

"Jo, don't stress about it. The main thing is you're alright. What happened, happened. We don't have to make drama out of it." he smiled.

"Thank you. I don't want to ruin anything."

"You didn't." he assured her.

For a second, the yesterdays feelings came back, the burning desire, how she felt him everywhere, with every sense, the urge to feel him closer. She shivered.

"Come on, you need to eat something, it'll help you feel better."

They got up and went back to kitchen, Mary already laid the table and the warm, sweet food did help her and calmed her thoughts.