BROKEN VOWS

Chapter Twenty Seven : Last goodbye

Rainbow 's POV.

I stood before Ben, my eyes blazing with tears and anger. Two months had passed since he'd filed for divorce, and I was still reeling from the pain he'd caused me. I'd thought I'd processed my emotions, but being face-to-face with him again brought everything flooding back.

I took a deep breath, my voice shaking as I unleashed all my pent-up emotions. "I hate you so much for giving up on us, for hurting me, for making me cry every single day, for leaving me, for not being there when I needed you most, for everything you did to me, for ruining what we had, for making me trust you when you knew you were just gonna break that trust."

I sobbed, my body shaking with the force of my emotions. Ben opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a finger, silencing him. I wasn't done yet, and I wasn't going to let him interrupt me.

"I hate you for making me love you so much," I continued, my voice cracking. "Mostly, I hate you for making me a fool because I still love you despite everything you put me through." I glared at him, my eyes daring him to try and justify his actions. But for now, I just wanted him to listen, to hear the pain and anguish he'd caused me.

My eyes locked on his as I poured out my heart. Two years of courtship, five years of marriage, and seven years later, I was still deeply in love with this man. He had shown me the highest highs and the lowest lows, and yet, I couldn't help but feel like I had never truly seen him. He had worn a mask of happiness and success, hiding his true self from me.

I wiped away tears as I continued to speak. "I'm sorry for everything that happened to you, I truly am. And I'm so sorry that I didn't do enough as your friend and wife to make you trust me enough to share your pains with me. I'm sorry for not noticing how much pain and struggle you were in. I wish I'd done more to help you in some way; for that, I'm sorry."

I paused, taking a deep breath as I looked at Ben. It had taken two months of begging, sending messages through Aaron, before he had finally agreed to meet with me. I had thought that I would never get the chance to tell him how I felt, to apologize for not being there for him when he needed me most. But now, here we were, face-to-face, and I was determined to make the most of this opportunity.

My voice was shaking as I spoke from the heart. "I'll never forget the way you used to look at me, the way that made me feel so special. All the words you said to me that melted my heart, and the way you used to put me before everything else."

As I spoke, memories flooded my mind, and tears began to fall. I sniffled and wiped my face with both hands, trying to compose myself. But the pain and sadness were too much to bear.

"But also, I'll never forget the way you tore me apart, piece by piece. The way you treated me like I didn't matter." My voice cracked as I spoke, and I felt a lump form in my throat. "I'm not even sure which is worse, the fact that you destroyed me completely or the fact that I thought you never would do something like that."

I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably as the tears rushed down my cheeks. I wiped my face with both hands, sniffing loudly as I tried to catch my breath. This was so hard, reliving all the pain and heartache that Ben had caused me. But I needed to do this, needed to confront him and let him know how his actions had affected me.

My eyes locked on his exhausted face. I had spent countless hours thinking about what to say to him, how to make him hurt as much as I was hurting. But now, looking at him, I felt a pang of sympathy. He looked like he'd been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, like he hadn't slept in months.

As I gazed at him, I realized that I'd had enough time to reflect on our marriage, on the pain and the heartache. And in that moment, I knew that it was time for us to move on. Two months of trying to convince him to work on our marriage had been enough. I was done.

I took a deep breath, my voice steady as I spoke. "I'm here to say my piece, Ben. I'm here to tell you how I feel, to let you know that I'm done. I'm done fighting for us, done trying to make you see that our marriage is worth saving. I deserve better than the pain and the heartache you've caused me. And I think it's time for us to go our separate ways."

I paused, looking at him one last time. "I'm moving on, Ben. With or without you, I'm taking back control of my life. And I hope you can find it in yourself to do the same."

I watched as Ben's expression changed, his eyes welling up with tears as he listened to my words. It was a small victory, but it was something. Finally, he was showing some emotion, some reaction to the pain he had caused me.

I continued, my voice steady despite the sadness that threatened to overwhelm me. "I decided to sign the divorce papers like you asked, I guess you already know about that, right? I feel insulted that you sent someone to inform me about our divorce, you know? Like many other times in our marriage, you made the decision to get divorced all on your own. But that's alright, though, because for once, I think you made the right decision this time."

I chuckled sadly, the sound barely above a whisper. "So before you decide never to see me again, I need to say my goodbye in person."

As I spoke, Ben's tears began to fall, rolling down his cheeks as he looked at me. It was a small crack in his armor, a glimpse of the emotions he had been hiding for so long. And it was enough to give me the courage to keep going, to say everything I needed to say before we parted ways for good.

"I want to thank you for all the good memories you gave me, for the joy you brought into my life when I needed it. I want to thank you for letting me into your life and getting to know you, even though I have no idea who the real you are at this point."

Ben's face contorted in anguish, his body shaking with sobs, but I continued, my words spilling out like a dam breaking. "I want to thank you for the change you brought into my life from the moment we met, for the lessons you have taught me, and for the hope you gave me, even though it was false. I want to thank you for the love, happiness, pain, heartache, and emotional hell I have felt."

My voice rose, my emotions boiling over. "Thank you for all the periods of times you made me feel like I was flying on cloud nine, and fuck you for all the times I would fall to the ground crying, clutching my chest as I felt myself cracking into tiny pieces."

I clenched my fists, my dress bunched up in my hands as I spoke. "For the times I thought I knew the story, for the times I thought I knew how to handle things, and the times I found out I was not in the wrong but you made me feel like I was."

Ben's sobs grew louder, his body shaking uncontrollably, but I stood my ground, my eyes blazing with tears and anger. I was finally saying everything I needed to say, and I wasn't going to hold back.

"I am thankful to you for the time you spent with me, but I did not deserve the lonely times and hours I lay awake at night crying because of you. The infinite hours of my heart were consumed with thoughts of you."

I took a deep breath, my voice cracking with emotion. "I forgive you for breaking me piece by piece, for the hard truths I've learned, for the strength I've gained when there was no reason for me to."

Ben's eyes were fixed on mine, his face a picture of devastation and regret. But I didn't stop. I had to say this, had to let go of the pain and the anger.

"And most of all, forgiveness that was never asked for, forgiveness I owe myself for everything I didn't know and had to endure. I know you can never ask such a thing from me. So as I say goodbye to you now, I want you to know that I forgive you."

The words hung in the air, a sense of release and closure washing over me. I had said what I needed to say, and now it was time to let go. I took one last look at Ben, and then I turned and walked away, leaving the pain and the heartache behind.

Author's Note.

For those of you who are not aware, I've published my other book titled 'Bane Of His Existence' and I'm also working on new chapters to update.

Please check it out when you can.🙏🙏

Stay safe, be kind to one another.❤