Dear Diary,

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Dear Diary.

It has been 4 years.

I try to tell myself that this is what she would have wanted

but when I try to picture her, all that I see is 

              A girl smiling down

                             A child running, the wind flowing through 

A teen screaming that she doesn't want to

            at the shell sinking in the pebble beach, and 

                           the hair that she couldn't

live like this any more, and it

           cradling it in her clammy hands.

                           quite look after, which frayed at the ends.

was suffocating, that I was suffocating, that I was - 










Sometimes, I can't see her at all.

And I don't know if that's a good or bad thing anymore.

 - Martha.













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