What Would You Change?

The Rest of the Day: Chapter 2

Brad starts to make a break to grab me when suddenly Mrs. Gerry comes out from her classroom. She doesn't say anything but Brad and his posse immediately take a step away from me.

"Everyone here off to class?" Mrs. Gerry questions.

"Of course Mrs. Gerry. Just trying to help a fellow student out who tripped," Brad lies.

Mrs. Gerry nods and heads back into her classroom. Brad takes one look at me, and says

"Actually, you're not worth it. Let's go boys."

I look at Cody, who I make direct eye contact with, and while I expect some sympathy to come out of his eyes, there's only a stony stare. As if to say,

'What? You thought just because I talked to you once means I'd help you?' and then he merely shrugs at me.

When their possy finally reaches the end of the hallway and is out of sight, I start to pick up my books. God, could this day get any worse? All I want to do is go into the girl's bathroom and cry. But, someone will definitely be in there. There's no safe space for me to release my emotions, so instead I shove them down, not willing to let anyone break me. I'll show them. I'll make them pay and show them what it's like to be at the bottom of the totem pole begging for scraps. I'm smarter than all of them, I can out smart them with their stupid popularity game.

That idea bounces into my head and I can't seem to let it go. All of my free period I start to strategize, I see the pieces falling into place. The moving parts that would be needed to become popular, to not be so lonely. I knew it was a longshot, but maybe I could hit two birds with one stone.

The rest of the day seemed like a blur, everything was going per usual. Myla and her boyfriend sat with the popular crowd at lunch while Robbie and I sat together near the library along with Trina. Trina's addition to our ground definitely brought our coolness factor up. She was a hardcore rocker who was popular but then shaved her head and came out as a lesbian. Which, in my book, was extremely badass. Robbie and Trina were discussing the logistics of Pokemon, but I couldn't bring myself to join. I was only wondering how it would feel to be popular, how it would feel to be in the 'in' crowd. A part of me wondered why Trina gave it all up, and while the logical part of me understood, somewhere in my heart, I longed for the idealization popular people had.

"What wrong wizzhead? Is our conversation about which type of Pokemon is the best not stimulating enough for you?" Trina asks. That's the nickname she gave for me when she realized I could zone out in basically any class and still receive an A.

"No. It's obviously dragon type."

"I told you!" Robbie shouts at Trina. Trina rolls her eyes.

"But seriously, what's wrong? You've been zoned out this whole conversation and you usually are at least somewhat invested and always opinionated," Trina says.

"Okay," I pause. "I have a question, and you can't make fun of me for it."

"Okayy." Trina says while scrunching her eyebrows.

"What was it like to be popular? Do you miss it? Is it worth it?" We never talk about Trina's life before she became friends with us. Robbie and I call it 'B.T.' Before Trina, whenever we want to talk about Trina being popular.

Trina sighs. "That's a heavy question Ryan. But, it was great, I can't even lie. You get invited to the coolest parties, you feel like you're part of the 'in' crowd, and the girls aren't half bad to look at."

"So why'd you stop?"

"In case you haven't noticed on the everything about me, I'm really gay. Like I like girls. And, while most guys are okay with that in their porn history, they're not okay with real lesbians," Trina says in a monotone voice.