What Would You Change?

Wait! You Created a Love Potion?: Chapter 14

One thing at a time. I repeat the mantra over in my head, and Mr. Rowner's words come back to me. First things first, I need to avoid the fuck out of Cody. I think I'd die of guilt if I saw him again.

Every hallway to my next classroom is like a game of russian roulette, where Cody is the bullet I might see to end me. For all my time wanting Cody, I've never once asked myself if I actually liked him.

Trina's words echo in my head 'What in particular does he like about you?'

I wonder if Cody will still like me when I give him an antidote. I wonder if he'll remember anything or if he'll just be confused. Is it bad I want him to like me so much?

Shit.

If I can even create an antidote.

There's only a couple other people who could whip up something about and help me with this, and most of them are not too thrilled about my presence right now.

One thing at a time, I repeat Mr. Rowner's words. Avoid Cody. That's the first thing I can do, and that's the only thing I'm going to focus on for now. Even with only a couple more classes left in the day I find myself feeling like the boogeyman will jump out at me at any second.

Finally school ends, and I finish cross country practice. Now to focus on Myla and the promise I made her. I race to Myla's car, not daring to look behind. Myla strides in ten minutes later which makes my face heat up for rushing over here.

"Dude, what's with the hair? It's not a good look, but don't worry we'll have hair and makeup practice today all while discussing boys," Myla says smiling.

I pat my windswept hair down, trying to mask my dishevelment. I groan internally. I totally forgot Myla is going to want a sister bonding moment talking about boys. And currently, the boy I want is literally tied to me by a chemical reaction. How did I make my life so complicated?

In the car my mind races, I don't want to tell Myla about my predicament. I want to spend time with my sister, I want to build back our bond, not destroy it with a bulldozer with my truth bomb about Cody.

"You've been awfully silent," Myla notices.

"Uh, yeah, I got a headache while running earlier, so the car ride isn't helping," the lie slides off my tongue. I don't even have a chance to feel bad, because of my other dilemmas. We park in the driveway and Myla looks over at me touching my head. She nods.

"Oh, those are the worst. I'll make you some hot sweet tea when we get inside," Myla says blithely.

My mouth drops open, and I have to quickly close it before Myla notices. It's such a small gesture, but it makes tears well up in my eyes. Hot sweet tea reels me back to sixth grade winters of pinky promises and 'never have I evers' with Myla. I'm thrown into memories of making snowmen and catching snowflakes with our tongue.

I force myself to be a big girl and not cry, but once Myla puts the kettle on the stove, I know I'm a goner. I let out a choked sob, and immediately Myla swivels towards me.

"Oh my god what's wrong?" Myla asks and comes over to my side.

"C-cody...you," I don't have enough room to fit words in with all my sniffling and tears overflowing out of me.

"Did that bastard break up with you? I swear I'll skin that mother fucker alive," Myla practically screeches.

I snivel out a laugh.

"No, no. I don't even think he's ever liked me," I say. Myla narrows her eyes, and if looks could kill, Cody would be dead.

I wave my arms in an X motion.

"I mean, ugh, this is so hard to say, God. I'm going to sound so pathetic," I mutter.

I don't expect Myla to react to my previous statements, but she stares at me dead in the eye and says,

"Nothing could make you pathetic."

My eyes widen at her confession, and now I know it's time to put on my big girl panties. I take in a deep breath and ramble,

"A few days ago I gave Cody a love potion I may or may not have concocted in the basement. I didn't think it would work, and then it did which oh god it did. And, you've always had a boyfriend, but I've always wanted to be wanted. There's never a time in my life where I've felt more geeky and unloved. I want to be loved. I want what you had with Jake. I need to make an antidote, because after a long while I thought I didn't, but now I do need an antidote. I just don't know how to make one."

Myla's eyes widen at my confession, and for once in her life Myla has absolutely nothing to say. Then, I add,

"Oh yeah, also Trina and Robbie hate me."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've just detonated my relationship with Myla with TNT. The air is thick around us, and I'm afraid if I say anything more I actually will cause Myla to erupt. After a couple more moments of silence, Myla whispers in a voice so soft I almost miss her words,

"Why didn't you come to me? I could've helped."

I'm physically taken aback, as that's the only thing she has to say. I look around the room, or really anywhere but Myla's eyes. Then, I sigh. My next words will be a blow to Myla, but in the name of Mr. Rowner and in tackling down my demons with honesty, I reply,

"Because I wanted your friendship back," I practically sob. "I missed you, and I wouldn't want anything to ruin that, not even Cody, so I'll talk about anything makeup or hair, I just can't be shut out again," I add.

This time, it's Myla's turn to have tears rimming out of the corners of her eye.

"You think I didn't miss you? I wanted to be friends, but I practically kicked you out of my life and then regretted it later. How could I have made up for that? I thought you hated me. I would have hated me," Myla chokes. "I don't need makeup or popular guys, all I wanted was to watch Disney movies with you and talk."

I hug Myla. It's quiet around us, but there's a warmth to the house which wasn't there before. After releasing each other, Myla's eyes almost pop out of her socket.

"Wait! You created a love potion?! And you gave it to Cody?" Myla shouts.

Ah, took her long enough. She's running her hands through her hair, now processing the information I gave her two minutes ago.

"Uh, yeah," I drawl out. I expected that to be the first thing she reacted over, but guess not.

Myla takes this moment to pace back and forth and back and forth in the middle of our living room.

"Okay," She pauses.

"Let me get this straight. You made a love potion, gave said love potion to Cody, then didn't do anything, fought with your friends and you now want to find an antidote," Myla surmises.

I scratch the back of my neck.

"Uh well when you put it like that, it makes me seem kind of shitty but yes," I say with a guilty smile etched across my face.

She gives me an incredulous look. Then, she stops pacing mid track, and her eyes widen suddenly.

"That's why Petunia likes you so much now!" She exclaims while pointing at our cat across the room.

I roll my eyes, because of course, that's what she's thinking about during my mental breakdown.

"Whatever, will you help me," I prod.

"Yeah, yeah, just remember you owe me two weeks of laundry duty" Myla says while smirking. I smirk right on back though, and say,

"Uh, uh, that wasn't the deal, it was if she would sit on my lap again, and she will," I snicker. It feels just like old times, and even though we are bickering, warmth radiates the room.

This time, it's Myla's turn to roll her eyes.

"If I help you with this, let's call it even," she says and there's a glint in her eye. "First, we'll probably need help from those friends who hate you."