Reality

Chapter 15

I wake up in a sea of fluffy white sheets, feeling like I've been hit by a bus. Once I open my puffy and red eyes, I immediately close them, the sun streaming in from the large window and harshly reflecting off the white walls too much to handle.

Yesterday, after quitting and running around with Addison all day, I came over to Shay's house to spend the night. She called me the night of the award show after watching Alex's horrifying speech and emotional performance to see if I was ok. Naturally, she invited me over the next day to spill my guts and give her all the juicy details about what went on behind her television screen.

We spent all night talking, crying, and shoving our faces with junk food. I told her all about what went on the night before, and how I quit that morning. 

Shay was patient with me, hearing me out—although I could see the disappointment in her eyes at me throwing in the towel. She played devil's advocate and Dr. Phil all night, making me second guess myself to the point where I couldn't sleep and cried until well into the early hours of the morning. I know she means well—and I'm not sure if it's just her motherly instincts kicking in or a natural born talent—but man did it mess with my head and make me feel worse and more uncertain than I did when walking out of Greg's room that morning.

The past forty-eight hours have left me feeling like a banged up car on a dealership parking lot after a huge baseball sized hail storm. I feel beaten, broken, and worthless. Meanwhile, Chris is sitting comfortably, like one of those big obnoxious car salesmen you see on TV, trying to shove me off the lot by slashing my value to less than half my worth.

Every time I close my eyes I see his smug, satisfied face. Granted, in most of my ridiculous visions he's in a 70's plaid suit with a clown like smile on his face shouting about his next blowout hail sale, but it doesn't decrease my want to punch him in the face and into the next century.

Three soft knocks come from the door and I peel my eyes open to catch Shay peeking her head in, giving me a soft smile.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, slipping through the door, fully dressed and ready for the day.

I give her a measly shrug.

Her lips pull to the side and she slips into the bed next to me, her large bump resting between us. "Want to go to the store with me and get out for a bit? I have to pick out a few things for the nursery still. I could use your expertise design skills." She grins, trying to brighten my mood.

As much as I would love to stay in bed and sulk all day, I owe her for letting me stay here on more occasions than I'd like to admit. The least I can do is muster up the little bit of life still inside me instead of being a crappy friend and just dumping all my shit on her, expecting her to let me wallow in my pity all day at her house. 

I roll over to check the time, groaning when I realize it's a half an hour until noon.

"Since when do you get up and get ready before me?" I ask, recalling when we were on tour together with Alex and it was a major struggle for her to even be coherent by this time.