Reality

Chapter 23

After the funeral, we all drive back to the funeral home to pick up the dozens of flower arrangements that were sent to us from family and friends.

I stand near the front of the chapel, pretending to look at all the plants that surrounded my father's casket minutes ago.

"Oh, Alex, look at this one! This would be nice for your condo, you know, to spruce the place up a little," my mother says cheerfully, holding up some sort of common leafy house plant, acting like we're in some sort of gardening shop instead of a funeral home.

"Uh-huh," I reply with disinterested, disgusted.

My parents never did get along. To this day I still believe they only got married because of me, to appease their parents who didn't approve of them having a baby out of wedlock. But that doesn't excuse her behavior. I know my dad did some pretty shitty things, they both did to each other over the years, but she could at least pretend to be sad that her husband—the father of her son—is dead. Sure, she put on a show for the paparazzi, pretending to dab away some tears when the cameras were pointed at her, but it was all for show. She didn't actually shed a single tear today.

Her cheery expression immediately drops to a scowl, and I know she's about to give me an earful.

"Mrs. Walker," the director interrupts her before she can start, asking her questions and giving her a briefing of what happens now, the both of them stepping out.

I pick at the rose arrangement in front of me, feeling the velvet like texture of the petals between my fingers. I never really liked flowers, they reminded me of funerals and death, but Joslyn's fascination and collection of them started to change my mind.

Sensing Joslyn's presence, I look over my shoulder to see her walking down the aisle of the chapel, staring down at her phone as she types. And as if sensing my gaze, she looks up, giving me small smile before quickly typing out a few more words and shoving her phone in her purse.

"Hey," Joslyn says softly, meeting me at the end of the aisle. "That was Shay. She said she's sorry she couldn't make it. She just has her hands full right now with Levi."

"Levi?"

"Oh, yeah, she had her baby," she informs, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear.

"Wow," I breathe out, still not believing Shay is a mother now, and that I haven't seen her in years. "Tell her I said congratulations."

She nods. "I will."

We stand silently for a while, the both of us uncomfortably shifting on our feet until a staff member walks by with a rather large arrangement, causing both Joslyn and I to duck into a row of pews to let them get by.

I look up to the front of the chapel, seeing the number of plants dwindling, being hauled to the car by staff.

"You can take some of the flowers for yourself if you want," I tell Joslyn, trying to be nice as well as fill some of the awkward silence. I don't miss the slight cringe on her face, realizing how dumb that was, asking her if she wants the flowers from my father's funeral. "Shit, I'm sorry. That was stupid," I curse myself, awkwardly cupping the back of my neck.