Not In That Way - Lauren Jauregui/You *in editing*

chapter 19.

Your P.O.V

Eva was great company, but nobody was ever as good company as Lauren. I couldn't keep my mind off of her, I wanted to go to the hospital and see her but I felt too guilty because I was going to tell her that I didn't want to be with her in that way, at least not yet.

As the night went on I discovered Eva and I had a lot in common, we both loved literature and music, but only really listening to music as neither of us were very talented in that department, she likes art as well, and she is great to be around.

I must've been there for a good four hours when there was knock on her front door.

"There's someone here to see you Y/N." Eva said as she reentered her living room closely followed by Lauren?

"Lauren, wh..what are you doing here, why aren't you in the hospital?" I questioned rushing over to her but she stepped back away from me.

"I need to talk to you," she started before looking over to Eva "in private." She finished.

"If anything is going to be said in my house I will be in the room, also Jauregui I don't think Y/N even wants you here that much, from what I've heard Y/N is pretty much done with you." Eva shared, this caused the tension in the room to reach levels I didn't even know were possible.

"What exactly did Y/N tell you?" Lauren asked Eva as if I was no longer on the room.

"Just how the relationship was great until Y/N told me nobody could find out besides your families and the girls because of your job as a little popstar. I could never do that to somebody and if you ask me if you hide your relationship from the world it means you don't really love the other person." Eva spoke followed by a smirk growing on her face.

Silence. Lauren had no argument, what Eva said was kinda true, I mean I know Lauren loved me but if she thought I was the one she surely would've done anything to show the world how much she loved me, but we never even talked about telling other people.

"Y/N..I loved you, you know I did.." She started.

"Loved, past tense. So you obviously don't love me anymore." I said and she let out a laugh.

"That's a little rich coming from the one who was going to tell me that you didn't want to be with me." Lauren returned.

"I heard about the fall, I hope you didn't break your talent." Eva said and Lauren shot her a glare.

"Lauren, I think you should leave. How did you even know where I was?" I questioned.

"Kyle told me, he gave me the address you gave him in case things turned sour and she was some kind of axe murderer." Lauren explained pointing to Eva.

She left shortly after, but then so did I. I said my goodbyes to Eva and told her we should hang out again sometime.

--

It was about 1:30 am by the time I got back to Kyle's, there was a note on the fridge telling me to not be too loud as he and James had gone to sleep. I decided to turn in for the night as well.

I decided to check my phone one last time before going to sleep, I had two messages one from Eva:

'Had a great time. Can't wait to see you again. x'
And one from Lauren:
'I lied when I said I loved you, I still love you Y/N, you know I do. Sorry.'

--

To say I got a good nights sleep would be an understatement, I think I slept for about an hour in total, I just kept thinking about, well everything. I mainly thought about Lauren. I love her, I really do but it would be too hard to be with her, I will be in Sydney for basically the whole year, and will only be in Miami if I come back to visit which wouldn't happen very often and she will either be in L.A or all over the place and she is never in the same place for two minutes but I really love her. I just don't think us loving each other will be enough.

Eva is a great girl, but I don't think I want to be with her like that, I've only know her a few days and we've hit off right away but I'm not ready for a long distance relationship.

But how do I tell them that?

--

"You don't want to be with me?" She questioned.

"Lauren, I love you, you know that. Its just that it would be too hard to maintain a strong relationship when we wouldn't be able to see each other, we're young and we have needs are urges and there would be temptations and one of us would eventually give in. Please understand what I'm trying to say here." I said grabbing her hand as she sat next to me on Kyle's couch whilst he and James not so subtly ease-dropped from the kitchen.

"I understand, I'm not happy with what you're saying but I understand and respect it. So I guess as you go back to Sydney tomorrow morning I won't you for a while." She spoke.

"You talk as if we will never see each other again." I responded.

"Because that's what it feels like, it's feel as though when I walk out of that door we will be out of each others lives forever." She said before dropping her gaze to the floor.

"It won't be like that, I promise." I said before pulling her into a tight embrace.
We pulled apart and both stood awkwardly for a moment.

"Well I guess I'll see you around." I said as i felt a lump form in my throat and tears form in my eyes.

"Yeah, see you around." She said with a small smile before turning and leaving.

"I love you." I said quietly as she left.

--

Sydney was as beautiful as it was when I left, even though it had only been gone five days.

Lily had turned three and she was showing me all the presents she got for her birthday. Its amazing how much has changed since she's been on this earth.
My parents were telling me how I got a letter from the head of the college saying I along with 19 other students had been selected to go on an art course in London for a week. That was happening in two months and I already couldn't wait. Everything kinda started to look up and all it took for that to happen was a plane ride from Miami to Sydney.

A/N: finally a new chapter. Hope you enjoy it. 💛