Finifugal
(n.) Hating endings; someone who tries to prolong the final momentsThe moment I had been dreading arrived all too soon and before I knew it, I was standing with the other spirit wolves and Elders in the gardens, facing a very somber Diana.
We all stood in a perfect line, our mates all waiting behind us. There wasn't a single white cloth today as we wore the traditional mourning colour: black. The moon shone down on us, in all her brilliance in the otherwise pitch black sky.
The First Elder spoke up, breaking the deafening silence.
"Diana, your time with us has come to an end," she began, her voice even and the epitome of controlled. "Letting you go will no doubt be difficult on us, but you deserve your happiness," Diana nodded at the First Elder, standing before her to receive a gentle hug.
"I know this isn't the way you wanted things to go, but I am more certain than ever with my choice," Diana spoke resolutely, stepping back from the embrace to face the next elder.
Slowly, she moved down the line, saying her goodbyes to each elder before continuing on with the spirit wolves. Of course, I was at the end of the line, trying to delay the inevitable and avoid what was surely to come.
All too soon, however, it was my turn.
My vision was blurred as I gazed at the woman that found me, that raised me all those years ago when I had been lost in the wild for so long. She taught me how to speak, how to read and write and how to love.
She taught me everything I knew.
And now she was leaving.
Her own emerald eyes glistened with tears as she regarded me. She stepped closer to me, reaching a hand up to stroke my cheek and I couldn't help the lone tear that rolled down.
"Artemis, what do I even say to you?" She whispered. She lifted her other hand to cup my cheek and hold my face. "I've said this a million times, but it still won't be enough. You are like my own daughter and I'm so proud of you," A few tears of her own rolled down her leathery cheeks.
"I'm going to tell your parents just how wonderful you've become," she said with a watery smile.
"Goddess, I'm going to miss you so much Diana. I don't know what I'll do without you," I sniffled.
"I'll be watching over you my dear girl. I'll be with your family, smiling down on you, waiting for the day you join us," A small sob escaped my lips and she pulled me down into a crushing hug which I returned just as hard.
I inhaled her scent one last time, trying to etch it into my memory forever.
"Just remember, you're not alone," she whispered into my ear. She reluctantly pulled back, her eyes glancing over my shoulder to where Aurelius stood with the rest of the mates.
She grabbed my hands, giving them a squeeze one last time.
"Until we meet again Artemis," she tilted her head towards me and I blinked back the rest of my tears before doing the same.
"Until we meet again Diana,"
And with that, she let go of my hands, glancing at everyone one last time before turning around and heading towards the forest. She took slow but sure steps into the trees, her long white dress billowing in the gentle breeze.
My legs itched to run after her and pull her back into my arms, but deep down I knew I had to let her go. I looked up at the night sky, my eyes fixating on the bright and brilliant full moon that shone down on us.
A moment later, we heard a long and loud howl in the distance, the sound dragging out in a bittersweet melody. I couldn't help but join in on the howl, pouring out what I couldn't express in my words. Her howl faded and I stopped, knowing that this was it; the moment I had been trying to avoid.
Diana was gone.
I felt lost. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry, to scream, to run away. While my head understood that this was what Diana wanted and what the Moon Goddess willed, a part of me still mourned the loss of the most important person in my life.
I vaguely registered people offering me words of comfort. Selene stood by me, her hand running through my hair gently while Aylin had wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me.
"I need to shift," I announced. Everyone had stepped back and I quickly ran into the forest, tearing my dress in the process.
I shook out my fur and pawed the earth beneath me, only now realising that I hadn't shifted in a while. I took off into a sprint, pushing off the ground and flying through the trees.
The cool night air did nothing to smooth the burning ache in my chest. I ran and ran until the pain in my legs overwhelmed the pain in my heart. My mind kept replaying every moment with Diana, from the first day she found me, to our goodbye just moments ago, torturing me with the knowledge that I'd never see her again.
I caught a familiar scent and before I knew it, a large black wolf was running besides me. He didn't seem to mind the fast pace or the silence so I continued for a while longer until my muscles ached unbearably.
I lay on the ground in my wolf form, both mentally and physically reeling.
Aurelius stopped beside me, hovering over me as he stood. He sniffed my face and head, letting out a low whine as he began licking me.
I considered pushing him off me and warning him to stay away, but I was caught off guard by how pleasant it felt to be comforted and groomed by him.
I turned my head to look at him, to really look at his wolf and I came to the realisation that this wasn't Aurelius, but his wolf. The grey eyes that peered down at me were a testament to that.
I had very limited interactions with his wolf, the last time being when he pinned me down after I let everyone else escape, by even then, the cold blue eyes that had held me down told me Aurelius was still in control and not his wolf.
I sat up slowly, still watching the black wolf. He let out another whine, flattening his ears on his head as he lowered himself before me, laying on his back with his belly out.
I was surprised by the sudden display of submission on his behalf until I realised it was his way of apologising to me. Unsure of what to do, I just nudged him to get back up before turning around to stalk back to the mansion.
As I headed back to my room to collapse on my bed, I heard another mournful howl echo in the darkness.
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