Hawksdeavor oneshots

Scars

Suggested by: Lusimine

TRIGGER WARNING: Attempted suicide

If you are not comfortable with reading something like this then PLEASE wait until the next chapter release and just skip this one!

Depression is a serious thing, and I hope I can execute this well enough. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone if you find yourself going down this sort of path, you always matter more than you might think you do!
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Drip...drip...drip

He counted the many times he could hear his own blood hit the bathroom floor. It wasn't enough to kill him, of course, not yet at least.

He closed his eyes, completely relaxing against the bathroom door, his head only hurting more of he kept his focus on the bright room he brought himself to.

Why was he still there...? Forcing himself to continue a life he had never wanted, being a hero...he never had a choice did he? Not once in his life had he managed to make one that actually made it for the better. Everything he did was for the Agency or for the people, never for him. He had probably only made one choice that made him stay a hero...

Endeavor, or well, Enji. He had made the choice to look up to the much older hero, hoping he'd have his chance of working with him one day. He had gotten what he wanted in a way, but nothing about it ever turned out too great. First, there was the nomu attack, which he was at fault for, almost causing him to indirectly kill his own idol. Second, whenever Hawks was around, he noticed Enji was always annoyed with him, and Hawks hated himself every time he noticed it.

He'd be doing Enji a favor by doing this, wouldn't he? He would never have to deal with him anymore than he has to, never get hurt by him anymore. Enji would be much happier without him. Hawks almost smiled at the thought. It'd be his first, and last, good deed for Enji.

Enji...Everytime Hawks thinks about him his heart hurt. He loved the pro hero ever since he had learned what falling in love was, and he found it pathetic that he wouldn't be able to tell him after this, but he would probably only disgust Enji, and Hawks didn't want to think of it any longer.

Fiddling with the razor in hand, Hawks felt like he was forgetting something. He thought over it, but nothing was coming to mind on what it could be that he wasn't remembering. He hadn't lost too much blood, so it couldn't be that he was bleeding out and just couldn't remember. A sigh escaped his lips as he brought his hand with the razor up to his already sliced arms. A few more wouldn't hurt, right? And then he could go to sleep, and if he was lucky, never wake up. He smiled...

~

Walking up to Hawks's apartment door, Enji held in his breath a bit. He was always like this whenever the smaller male was around, shortness of breath, flushing of his face, and it annoyed him to no end, acting as if he was in highschool all over again with such a childish crush.

A week ago, Hawks had suggested they go out to eat when they both had a free day on their busy schedules, and today was that day. Enji remembered he even almost asked if it was a date rather than just eating together, but he bit his tongue and kept his mouth shut about it.

He went to knock on the apartment door, but was surprised when he noticed that the door was already slightly open. Enji had immediately found it strange. Everytime he was over, the door was always locked, even if Hawks had known he was coming over.

Enji's brows furrowed as he hesitated walking in before just pushing the door further open and stepping inside.

The room was empty. Enji wandered further inside to check the kitchen, and even snuck his way to Hawks's bedroom to see if he was there, but there was nothing.