pacman [DAY6 JAE]

-two-

"cause my head says no but my phone keeps calling you"

it was around midnight.

jae's eyes flickered open and it felt like he was in a trance. he pulled himself off the bed and sat in front of the mirror.
"hi."
his eyes crinkled into a smile.
he felt nostalgic with just one look at the person in the mirror. it wasn't the first time.
he had been seeing him for a while but he always felt a wave of emotions whenever he did. what he saw was beautiful.
it was the image he missed so much.
"you're getting worse, jae." 
jae nodded to acknowledge the truth.
"you look even worse today."
jae never responded. he always just listened. it was how he consoled himself.
"do what you think is right. i'll never force you."
this time, however, he opened his mouth to let words out. "i'm trying." he said.
"are you?"
"i am."
"then why won't you play and make yourself happy."
"i'm happier with her."
he dropped his head and exhaled. his eyes pranced around and fell on his guitar again. he looked away.
"are you really?"
there was silence and a long pause.
"yes-" he lifted his eyes back to the mirror and choked on his words.
it wasn't the beautiful image anymore. it was his reflection this time and he basically looked dead.
just as his felt on the inside.
he held his head and wouldn't dare to open his eyes. he also closed his ears. it was to give himself reasons as to why the image disappeared. why he couldn't hear anything else.

he went into a panic attack and began to hyperventilate. he needed the only thing that could calm him. he reached for his guitar.
no, he shouldn't.
he scrambled for his phone instead and picked it up to dial her number. maybe she could fill that gap.
"i need you please."