Our Memories......The Second Time Around

Chapter Nineteen

" Sanem are you sure," He asked as the thought exploded in his head. " No, Can I'm not sure but the feelings are the same as before." She spouted. " What do you want to do, do we need to go the hospital, " come on I'll take you right now." He exclaimed, ready to drop everything and rush to the emergency room. His heart was pounding so hard he couldn't breath..She shook her head," No I'm just going to give it a few days and see what happens, this might be just a coincidence." She stated, but really she didn't believe that herself. If I'm sick again, I'll get a pregnancy test. They agreed, both with hesitation and anticipation. Sleep wasn't in the cards for them that night, with every move Sanem made, Can was asking if she was ok. They tried to carry on with business of usual the next morning, with Can fixing them a light breakfast while she got ready for work. 

They arrived at work with the morning, so far, proving to be uneventful. So Can kissed her as they went to their separate offices. If was all very robotic in nature, they were just waiting, on pins and needles for her next bout of sickness. Praying for it to come and confirm their heart felt suspicions. Can had a meeting so he was able to relief his mind from it partially, for an hour,  but Sanem was fully engrossed with it. Not able to calm her mind. She hardly ever skipped a meal, so she held her routine and Can order in sandwiches for them and they ate in his office. Unable to shake the feeling, her nerves were on high alert, making her imagine all kinds of things. With them both stressed, Can made her stretch out of the sofa after they ate, and relax. He closed the door, which was the sign for everyone in the office to knock and wait for the invitation to enter. He laid down beside her eager to ease their tension.  They was no words spoken, just the touch, that protective touch that she got from Can, that made her feel safe and loved. 

The both dozed off for the remainder of their lunch hour. With sleep evading them the night before, it had been a welcomed chance to relief their tension and get some rest. The day wore on with nothing out of the ordinary going on. She felt maybe it had been  a coincidence and her mind was more then eager to except her explanation. She was finished with her work and waited for him to respond to the last email of the day. Her disappointment she tried to hide was more than apparent to Can. Was she willing herself to be sick, hoping and praying for something that may not be. With his business taken care of, he suggested, they go to their favorite fish place on the pier before going home. She agreed, hoping to take her mind off her ever present thoughts. The fish was delicious as always, making her feel good and satisfied, not nauseous and uncomfortable. They talked about the campaign they were working on as they drove him, both pushing pregnancy issue out of their heads. They turned off the main road towards the farm, this part of the drive always calmed her down. It let her relax, knowing they were closer to her place of serenity and peace.

No more than a half a mile down the road, that feeling of weakness and nausea hit. It was so sudden it scared her. A weak sensation that tingled all the way down and hit her stomach, " Can, pull over, please." She said quietly. He wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly, so he looked at her with doubt. " Sanem,  you ok." He asked. " Pull over now." She said, louder this time and with more authority. He whipped his truck over to the side of the narrow road, she threw the door open and jumped out. Within seconds, the dinner and lunch was gone. A wave of heat and dizziness covered her, making her grab for the truck before she fell against it in a panic. He immediately rushed around the truck, watching her lose control and almost hit the ground.           " Ok Sanem, bebek, lets get you home, here I'll help you back in the truck." He stated, trying to take control and not overreact. These feelings came in waves, come and going at will. Her mind collecting everything that had happened, and analyzing it to make since. These were the same symptoms she had felt before, giving a bit more intensity, she was sure of what the results would be. Can had one eye on Sanem and one eye on the road, as they continued on headed for home.

She stared ahead, to scared to look directly into his eyes, for fear of jinxing the outcome. Once home she went straight to the bathroom, stripped down and stepped into the shower. " Let this water calm you, relax you, don't get to excited." Her mind repeated over and over. Next plan of action, " Tomorrow get a pregnancy test, and find out for sure, then you can let yourself except it and fill your heart with it. Can entered the bathroom, " Sanem, are you ok, do you need me." He asked with a sound of desperation in his voice. " Yes, my love, I'll always need you, so come on in the waters great." She teased. Within seconds he was next to her, holding her, soothing her with his touch. He needed and deserved it as much as she,.....the calming of them together. They allowed them their time to connect to the possible reality of a baby again, then drying off and dressing for bed. This odd silence between them meant they were both afraid to say what was in their hearts. The snuggled up together, with happiness on their minds. 

The next  morning he brought her breakfast in bed, not wanting to take any chances. She was famished as usual, but she ate with reason and caution. Not wanting to overdo, causing her to lose it all. Still reserved and cautious, they started to work. Her head trying to record every feeling that was surging through her body. Her notebook, always present with her, became her lifeline to her soul. The office was busy as their sunglasses company was set to release a new line of eyewear for the next summer season. A meeting with the head of their advertising group had Can busy most of the morning. Then boxes of sample sunglasses the agency to try, made everyone happy. She shifted her energy to a new presentation, telling her mind to invent a new and fabulous campaign for them. But it was hard to come, so Deren developed the winning campaign and slogan for the upcoming presentation, and Sanem returned to her office to write, recording each feeling she had through the day.

With a stop on the way home to buy a pregnancy test, Cans excitement was high. He couldn't wait, but he knew he had to. That truly was the longest 5 minutes of his life. She refused to let him in the bathroom as they waited for the results. After what he thought had been plenty of time, he knocked on the door. " Sanem, is it ready, what did it say." She opened the door, with a confused look, the line was faint, so faint it almost couldn't have been there. But just enough to say it was.

He turned the test around for him to see. " I think it's positive," She said. Smiling at him, " I say it's positive, how about you." She quizzed with a happiness in her voice.

He stared at it, seeing the ever so slight blue line, " That's what I see, my love." We did it." He yelled.....picking her up and swinging her around, both laughing.