Our Memories......The Second Time Around

Chapter Twenty-one

She woke to the smell of food cooking, she wasn't sure if she liked the smell or not. She crawled out of bed made her way to the kitchen for some water. But the closer she got the stronger the smell hit her stomach, " Can, what are you cooking." She asked with a snarled up nose. " Good morning love, it's just eggs, I scrambled them." Is that ok." He questioned, with a puzzled look on his face. " I'm sorry, but that smells horrible, I'm sorry," she said, waving her hand in front of her face. He slide the skillet off the stove, " I'll, fix something else, what do you want." He quickly asked. " Just some fruit or something, nothing cooked, ok." And some tea." If you don't mind,....I love you." She said and blew him a kiss. 

He raked all the eggs into his plate, and fixed her a bowl of fruit, wondering if that was a good nutritional breakfast, but that was what she wanted, he grumbled in his head. He called for her to come and eat, and he poured her tea. She had barely sat down, when the sight and smell of the eggs sent her running for the bathroom. He quickly followed her as he always did, just to be there and help if he could. There was nothing to get rid of as how she hadn't eaten anything since the day before, so this time was particularly rough. With this bout over, they showered, and got ready for work. She took her tea and some crackers for the trip to the office.

Can was busy, in the middle of a new ad for the sunglass company, they had expanded their line, to a children's section. A whole design of Mini Me Sunglasses to match the parents. Making it a family campaign, geared for the young adventurous families. Him and Sanem were both totally involved with it. 

Sanem was constantly recording every aspect of their daily lives on paper, it would be their legacy for their child. Documenting all their feeling and thoughts for the world to read. Can took it all in stride, providing her with as much love and support as he could. 

Friday was over and they headed home, ready for the weekend and peace and quite. He fixed a nice dinner, hoping she could eat and keep it down, pasta with sauce and a salad. It was one of her favorites. He even talked her into a walk after dinner, they loved these times together. When arrived back home she went to take a shower, with Can close behind. She had been so devoted to her writing, they hadn't had a lot time for each other. His eyes had filled with desire for her, as they undressed to shower, she welcomed his touch, it made her feel alive. All of her senses were heightened, as he pulled her into the shower, letting the water slid over their bodies, sending chills along the spine. His body, still and would always, mesmerize her, as she kissed his chest, he moaned her name, and she obeyed with a fire of desire. He was gentle, yet so satisfying, making sure they molded together as they filled their greatest needs. 

They lay in each other's arms, so happy, so full of love and expectations of what the next stage of their life would be. Can was surprised that Sanem hadn't been sick that evening, " Bebek, you haven't been sick yet, maybe you'll keep this dinner down." You need to, I'm afraid your not getting enough nutrition." He said with concern. She smiled kissing his shoulder, you're giving me everything I need, just you, that's all I need. That started another round of unleashed desire, lasting well into the night. As they were drifting off to sleep, he said, " Maybe you should leave this part of our lives out of the book," he teased. She agreed with a smile. 

They slept late, it was 8:00 when Can woke up, and Sanem was still sleeping, which he knew she needed. " No sickness," he thought, she needed to keep down as  much food as possible. He decided to go one quick run, before she woke up, maybe just a couple of miles, it made him feel better when he some kind of workout in. He laced up his running shoes and put on a t-shirt, grabbed his phone and took off. 

They had a great place to run there, down the road past Mihriban's and his dads house and to the main road and back. He was thinking of Sanem as he ran, the vision of the  night before, it stirred his feelings. She was more woman than anyone he had ever known. As he ran to the main road and started the turn around, a strange feeling came over him. A feeling that something was wrong, he couldn't pinpoint what it was but, it definitely was a different sensation. He stepped up his run a bit, just wanting to hurry back to the house, the urge was getting stronger, the closer he got to home.

He ran in the door, the living room and kitchen were empty, " Sanem, are you up, I'm back from my run." He yelled, still heavy with that feeling of dread. He went down the hall to their bedroom and he heard a muffled sobbing coming from the bathroom. He knocked on the door and opened it gently, " Sanem, love are you ok." He asked as the door opened to the view of her sitting on the floor. He quickly hugged her close to him, " What is it, what's wrong." His voice took on the sound of hysteria. Sanem was sobbing, holding her stomach, rocking back and forth. Her eyes found his, the panic he saw in her eyes made him turn cold. " Can, I think I lost the baby, please tell me it didn't happen again." She cried, pulling, clawing and clinging to him for dear life. 

He picked her up and carried her to the bed. " What happened, just tell me what happened." He begged. She was gasping for breath as she explained, " I woke up, my stomach was hurting really bad, like cramps, it got worse when it started to get up. I got to the toilet and there was blood, but the cramping is so bad."  She cried. " I think something bad happened Can. Please let's go to the hospital," she begged. 

He got her clean clothes and they headed to the hospital, the drive was silent, except for Sanem sobbing. They took her immediately to a room, leaving Can alone, that's when the fear and reality hit him. " This can't happen again, please not again." He pleaded for another answer to appear and let their baby be ok. This time he didn't call anyone, he sat there and waited for the doctor to come. He was in shock, had their lovemaking caused this to happen, it had been rather vigorous, had he done this. His mind so full of thought but yet numb and empty. 

He saw the doctor coming his way, he knew the look, it wasn't good. The words he said rang in his head, " Mr Divit. I'm sorry but looks like your wife was pregnant , possibly 4 weeks along, according to the dates she gave me. But she did lose the baby. Her health is good and there shouldn't be a problem for her to conceive again." He touched his arm,  "Please don't be discouraged, these things happen."  She is free to go when she feels up to it." He explained. 

Can nodded his head, as the doctor shook his hand and walked away. He stood at the door, thinking back some 5 months earlier, to the same sick feeling that coursed through his body.                  " This might be more than she can handle," He thought. 

"Please, Let me have the strength to help her." He pleaded.