Broken Boy - Cookomalley

2.

I'm sorry for making Matt an asshole in this but he has that vibe.

Nick's pov

16 years old

I was cuddled up to Jamie, my face in his neck like usual. Tomorrow we start school again. A new school, sadly with Katie in it. They grew quite close during the summer. Jamie of course came to me when he had taken her on their first date and when he had his first kiss. I hated it, I didn't wanna hear. I never do.

Apart from Katie, we had a great summer together. We hung out almost every day, Jamie bought a motorcycle so we went on small trips on it. We went swimming often or sometimes just chilled in bed. It was almost like small dates. Except they're not.

"Cookie, will things change between us when school starts?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you have Katie and you'll probably get new friends since I'm the loser in town and I'll just end up being alone again."
"I won't leave you, you're my favourite person in the world. You're being silly." I looked at him with tears in my eyes.
"But what if I'm not being silly?"
He shushed me and pulled me close again, stroking my hair.
"Let's sleep, Muffin. Katie will have to deal with our gayness." I laughed and relaxed a bit. I fell asleep after Jamie, just listening to his slow breaths.

//

"Wake up sleepy head! We have to be at school in half an hour!" I sat up in panic, glaring at Jamie.
"AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE WOKEN ME UP A LITTLE EARLIER?"
"SHHH people are still sleeping!"
I hopped out of bed, putting on my jeans from yesterday and went to the bathroom. When I got out Jamie pulled one of his hoodies over my head with a big smile.
"I could just wear my tee it's fine..."
"But you'll get cold, it's raining outside. Let's eat breakfast quickly."

//

I wanted every day of school to be like the first one. He drove me to and home from school on his motorcycle. We stayed close all day. I sat with him at lunch. Katie gave me glares all day for my hoodie, but I didn't take it off, it smelled like Jamie. We probably looked like a couple together like this, which is exactly why I liked the first day.

//

2 weeks later, Jamie's pov

I didn't mean for it to go like this. Everything started out great. Nick and I stayed best friends without Katie caring too much. She just wondered why he wore my clothes.
Then Matt came.

Today he went up to me and asked me if Nick was my boyfriend. I told him Katie is my girlfriend and we're just very close friends.
But he didn't buy it.

He told me he could spread any kind of lie and no one would believe me, he was after all one of the most popular guys in school. If I didn't leave Nick they were going to hurt him.
And I couldn't do that to him.
Each coming day I slipped further away from him.

//

1 week later. Nick's pov.

"Jamie! Wait!" I shouted. He always parks his motorcycle further away from school by now so people couldn't see he drove me. It made me sad, he said it was to protect me from bullies, who just recently started picking on me. It obviously didn't surprise me, but I thought Jamie would be there for me like he always has.

I saw Katie walk up to him from where I stood watching, just a little bit down the street. He drove off towards his house. I sighed and put in my earphones. Katie ruins everything.
It started raining and I walked home alone.

"I won't leave you, you're my favourite person in the world."

Yeah, right.

I texted him a few hours later asking him to come over, when I had taken a warm bath and finally recovered from the rain. We haven't had a sleepover in ages, I talk to him maybe 3 times a day. And now he doesn't even drive me home anymore. I really needed an explanation for his stupid behaviour.

//

At 9 he texted me to come open the door. I didn't care that it was late.
I missed him. I hugged him tightly, smiling up at him.
"Hi, I missed you."
"I missed you too, I'm sorry. I'll explain everything later, but first let's watch a movie?" I nodded and pulled him up to my room.

We watched a movie and got cozy. When it ended I was wrapped around him like a koala, he was so warm and cosy. I wanted my explanation now though, no matter how comfortable we were at that moment.
"You said nothing would change between us, but you're keeping stuff from me."
"Well, there's a lot to hide."
"What are you waiting for? Tell me."
Jamie sighed and looked away.
"I had sex with Katie."

"Ew why would you tell me THAT first? I thought it was important!"
I removed by body from his, I was suddenly very jealous and disgusted.
I spent all this time thinking I would be his first.

"What?! I like her! And I can't have sex with my girlfriend? You're just jealous no one has fucked you yet."
I completely ignored him and changed the subject.
"What was the other things. You said there was a lot. Tell me. What's up with Matt? You left me for him."

"I joined Matt's gang to protect you. He said he would spread lies about us if I didn't stop hanging with you. They were going to hurt you."
"And you let that happen?!! You're just abandoning me?!! AND HOW WILL IT PROTECT ME?"
"I have to! Nick-"
"NO. Get out of my house. NOW! You're a fake friend and you don't give a shit about me just leave!"

I started pushing him out of my room. I can admit it was mostly jealousy making me do this. I was tired of longing for him.
Jamie ran down the stairs screaming "You're nothing but a loser nobody without me."
I screamed "I hate you" back.
I didn't even notice the tears streaming down my face.
The door slams shut.

//

Dad came out of his bedroom with an angry look on his face. I had woken mom up. His expression softened when he saw me crying.
"What happened? Did you guys fight?" I couldn't keep it in, not to my dad.
"He joined the popular people to protect me, but all he's protecting is his reputation and straightness."
"His straightness? But he has a girlfriend doesn't he?"
"Don't you get it dad? That's exactly the problem! I'm in love with him! But he hates me! And his stupid girlfriend ruins everything!"
Dad pulled me in for a hug. He already knew I was gay, and I'm sure he already knew I was in love with my best friend, but it felt nice opening up to him.

"You deserve someone better than him. But I also think he's scared. You know him better than all of us Nicholas. You would know if he likes you back or not. He definitely doesn't hate you though, that's for certain. Just don't wait for him, it hurts you. There are probably lots of other cute boys in school."

I knew he was right, and I definitely wasn't going to sit and wait for Jamie after this. He's an asshole. But I can't help but think he likes me, or liked. All those times he blushed when I looked at him or kissed his cheek. When we swimmed during summer and he grabbed my waist so I wouldn't slip on a stone, and he held on just a bit too long. When I was sick and he took care of me. The time he thought i was asleep and he whispered that I was angelic. I had almost scared him to death when I answered "Am I? You're not too bad yourself." with a playful wink.

But he can't like me, why would he do all of this then? Why would he date Katie? And why would he leave me for some stupid friend group? Nothing made sense.