Love your blues

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Short cause my creativity and mental health have been at an all time low... Anyways, enjoy the story and the meme of the day ❤

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Mattia coiled a long blade of grass with his index finger, letting the cold dew cling to his skin. The sky was clear after an early morning sprinkle, and now it shone blue and bright. He could see the vast horizon sparkle on Kairi's eyes, fastened as they were in admiration of the view. Kairi lay over the checkered tablecloth Mattia had swiped from his dad's restaurant, and his skin glowed golden as it met the glaring sun.

Mattia allowed himself to drink in the sight of a summer-tinted, lounging Kai; paying no attention to the charming landscape that surrounded them. He wouldn't be able to tell you when it started, but by the time he noticed, his enamoured gaze was destined to find Kairi no matter what. Alejandro had once said that Mattia looked at him like he had hung the moon and the stars, but Mattia liked to think it wasn't like that. Kairi had painted no constellations for him, for, why would he do that? When Kairi is the sun, incandescent star, that lights up Mattia's mind. As they lay there, letting themselves enjoy those last few dog days, Mattia let his heart beat wild in the know of a love that will drag him down, and Kairi just stared at the hypnotizing blue, much like he always does.

"Kai... can I tell you something?" Finally, those twinkling brown eyes met his, blinking in silent agreement. The silence stretched between them as Mattia weighted his next words, so doubtful. Empty beats and then a shrill ring, and Mattia lost the moment. Kairi turned his head again and with a smile picked up his phone, chattering happily with her instead of him.

His vocal cords tightened painfully but Mattia faked a smile, and as he began looking at the sky, it seemed to lack the colour it once had.

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As far as springs went, it had been an oddly cold one, and for that Mattia was grateful. The weather had been an excuse for him to shove his indigo sweater onto his best friend's arms, and Kairi had not refused. It was a common sight to see Kairi drowning in the oversized corduroy that he never returned. For Mattia, letting him keep his sweater somehow felt like claiming, like announcing Kairi was his, and that soothed him in the wake of what he knew was Kairi romantically interested in a girl. That day at the beach, Mattia had been rudely awakened from his weak delusion.

Foamy teal and light cerulean as far as their eyes could see, the pier wasn't but a palette of blues. Kairi had asked Mattia to take him there, and he had done exactly that, but perhaps he wouldn't have if he had known what Kairi wanted to do. His best friend, his ride or die, his everything, innocently looking for a sweater to share with her. Mattia wanted to scream, to yell, to shake Kairi's shoulders and have him see how he feels.

He wanted to ask him, what about us? What about the sweaters we share? But, of course, he didn't. Instead, he let the prickly silence choke him up and water his eyes, hoping the ache would somehow fade. When Kairi asked if one in particular looked good, Mattia almost broke down. The damned sweater was blue! Blue is the color of the summer skies they spent so many days under, blue like the ink on Kairi's face that Mattia is used to wiping with his thumb, as blue as his corduroy sweater that Kairi keeps in his closet.

They began walking back to the car; Kairi's heart somewhere, with someone else, and Mattia could only gaze at the faded shades that once stood vibrant in his eyes.

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Pitter-patter against his basement window, Mattia heard the rain all too loud. Autumn brought endless, melodic patterns; in the pouring water and in the whistling winds.

A masochist, Mattia has the snap play on a loop, watching as Kairi leans in and meets her in the middle. The tears flow in a stream, and have done so for the past hour since he opened the post. It's not like Mattia didn't know, because god knows just how much it hurt him, but somehow, a kiss made it tangible, real. The sobs had ransacked his body, and left it a trembling mess, clinging to his last shred of sanity. Rationality, as far as Mattia knew, was all he could count on, because happiness wouldn't peek around for a while.

He thought back on every memory that plagued him, on all the ways Kairi lived in his mind. If only he had remembered how much Kairi loved blue; the cloudless sky, the ominous sea, the corduroy sweater that had once been his, and her, her rich, blue eyes. Her eyes were his sky, his sea, and well... Kairi no longer needed Mattia's sweater when he had her blues to warm him up. But, oh, Mattia needed him because he was his sea, his sky, and his everything nice. Mattia, without Kairi to colour him up, sat there in his grey life knowing the storm cried with him, for him. 

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