Fresh Start (a Twilight fan-fiction)

CHAPTER 13:

I snort unattractively as I let out a laugh. Jacob crinkles his forehead in confusion.
"I admit it Wolfboy, you're funny." He rolls his eyes at my response.
"I wasn't joking." I start to laugh again when I realize he's not actually kidding.
"No. No! No. No." I say repetitively and start to rant. "I can't go. This is my home, I'm safe here and I really couldn't-" Jacob stops me by pressing his lips against mine lightly. I close my eyes responsively but he pulls back right away, leaning his forehead against mine and stroking my back, causing shivers down my spine as he rests his arms around my waist, the movement feeling so natural, so light, yet my heart still raced faster than a thoroughbred horse.
"You're safe with me." He whispers quietly and I close my eyes in frustration.
"Jacob.." I groan out and start to disagree again but he's already kissing me, rather roughly I might add. I press closer to him, until there's not an inch of space between us and close my eyes, all protests forgotten. As my back lightly pushes against the wall, I open my eyes and smile at Jacob rather flirtfully.
"I'd better get some clothes on." I say, wiggling my eyebrows and laughing at his bewildered and disappointed expression as I sway over to my wardrobe, still in my bathrobe, and grab out some clothes, before heading to the bathroom.

Once I get out, fully dressed this time, Jacob is back to laying on my bed, this time looking at my most current reading material, Dracula by Bram Stoker. I smirk and lay beside him, my head on his chest, looking up at him as his eyes don't meet mine, still skimming the faded inked words on the pages. I study his features as he reads, and smile when he crinkles his eyebrows every once in a while. He finally smiles crookedly after a couple minutes, the movement causing my heart to beat even harder.
"See something you like?" He smirks and I chuckle.
"I'm more of a cat person." I joke before laughing at his mock offended expression. He smiles and leans over me suddenly, his massive body only being propped up by one strong arm as he caresses my cheek. I squirm under his gaze, nervous.
"Jacob.." I mumble, starting to bring up our previous subject but he puts a finger to my lips.
"Shhh.." He says and kisses me. I enjoy the blissful moment, knowing it won't last forever. Nothing really does, not even supernaturals.

I walk into the bathroom to get a drink of water, my eyes immediately widening at the state of my hair as I glance in the mirror. I attempt to smooth it with a comb and water, but it stays stubbornly messy. I groan and tie it up in a ponytail, splashing water on my face and leaning on the sink, tapping it lightly with one finger in thought and remembrance of the previous few minutes that just occurred. Nothing too serious, just slow passionate kisses and light touches. But I know that when I'm under the power inflicted by those brown eyes staring into mine, I feel weak-kneed and powerless. Funny what one gaze can do to a person. I shake my head, ponytail swaying.
As I look up into the mirror, I see a dark figure behind me, with pale stone hands reaching out. I scream and whirl around, seeing an empty, non inhabited wall. It wasn't real. My mind had conjured it up. Again. Sliding down to the floor weakly I let out the frustrated, angry, and shocked tears. What the hell is wrong with me.
"Eve?" Jacob calls through the door, sounding panicked.
"I'm fine." I say, biting my lip so hard I taste droplets of rust-like blood in my mouth. Standing up, I wipe at the tears and open the door that's being consistently knocked on. Jacob takes one look at me and hugs me tightly, resting his chin on top of my head and rubbing my back as I let out all my frustration and stress in one long sigh.
"I can't stop being paranoid Jacob. It's driving me insane." I whine, feeling more tears run down my probably now pale cheeks and soak into Jacob's light flannel shirt. He swallows before answering.
"It's okay, Eve. I won't let anything like that happen again." He says in a muted voice, quiet yet full of determination and sincerity. I sigh, knowing the imprint is the only reason Jacob is doing this, acting like he has feelings for me. It's all some stupid animal-like instinct that controls everything. Without this imprint, Jacob wouldn't have even talked to me since the day I discovered my new family was immortal and he was told to drag me back to the Cullen's house. I doubt he would've even remembered my name after that day in the woods, why would he bother? Random, dramatic girl freaking out about the smallest things she's worried about when there's a whole lot bigger problems facing the world. Doesn't sound like the best person to chase after for even a friendship. I reach one hand up and run my pointer finger down the three inch scar where I recently had my stitches taken out from when I had smacked my head on the living room coffee table. Just a slightly raised line, but a reminder nonetheless. A reminder of what state I'm in. Not bodily, but mentally.
I'm being selfish, I realize with a sudden start. Why keep Jacob chained to me? I'm falling apart, and I'm only going down. He deserves a bright, happy girl who has next to no problems except maybe her goldfish dying. Not a girl whose biggest problem is her parents dying. He doesn't need this. I live with vampires, his mortal enemy since he triggered his werewolf gene. I love vampires, whom he hates, but I also love him.This could never work. I can't drag it on... I need to let him go. If I'm going to be with the Cullens until my last years on this earth, this can't happen. He deserves a more reliable, less paranoid girl. The thought makes my eyes water, but I know it's for the best. I don't want him to have to worry about me any longer. Stepping out of his comforting embrace, I suddenly feel unsheltered and dreadful. But I know it's for the best. Jacob looks at me curiously as I take a breath.
"Jacob," I say in the coldest tone I can muster. "You are off the hook. I don't want to be with you. Please break the imprint bond. This was a mistake, I will never choose you. I want to be with the Cullens for the rest of my short human life, and last time I checked, you aren't included in that clique. So please leave." I shakily breathe and almost double take at his hurt, troubled, and most of all confused expression.
"What?" He finally sputters out. I bite my lip, willing my mind and emotions to become as solid as a concrete wall.
"I don't love you." I say bitterly and Jacob shocks me by taking a step forward, instead of many back, like I had planned.
"That's a lie." He states, his expression frustratingly unreadable, and confidentially steps closer as my concrete wall of solid, hateful feelings begins to crack and crumble. I take a step back to avoid the emotions and sudden passion bubbling up inside of me, and my back lightly hits the wall behind me.
"No. It's the truth. I hate you." I say wobbily as Jacob lays his left hand on the wall just beside my head. He steps so we're close once again, and runs the backs of his fingers lightly down the side of my face, me automatically leaning into him.
"You respond differently than you say." He says surely, his unreadable expression still bewildering. I bite my lip, which he takes notice of as his eyes flicker downwards before resting steadily on my own silver ones.
"Well I still don't want this relationship." I say half-heartedly. Jacob suddenly leans close, very slowly, until his lips are just a millimetre away from brushing against mine. His right hand rests on my waist lightly. As my instincts and feelings take over, I lean forward, my lips already parting. He pulls back steadily, only a couple of inches, and I look at him wearily.
"Liar." He growls out rather harshly, looking satisfied before kissing me, very hard. I don't know what triggered me to forget my plan, but after his lips met mine, all thoughts went completely out the window. And I knew, that he wasn't going to be as people quote "the one that got away", because no matter what, vampire or werewolf or even leprechaun, I wasn't letting this one leave. He forced his way into my heart, and unpacked his bags there. He was there to stay. I feel as my "concrete wall of mind and feelings" totally collapses in a pile of dust as Jacob swings the sledge hammer, crushing it. This boy will be the death of me..