Chapter 5: disaster.
Ally.
So Nate and I were gettings pretty close. He told me a lot of personal stuff I was not expecting from somene like him. Like his cultural side or his dick size or stuff like that. I want to tell him facts about myself, don't get me wrong. But I'm an open book. People tend to discover things deep inside of me before I do. I don't make friends well, because of Kyel. I'm not allowed to have friends over either. I wish I could tell Nate this but he'll think I'm a bigger loser than I already am. Kyel won't buy me a cellphone, so I have no way to comunicate with Nate or Kian. Kian. Gosh. He's lovely. Nate. God. Lucious. It's like they want me to eat their faces off. Kian broke up with Julia because he said h liked sme othr girl then held my hand. I smacked him even though I wanted to hold onto him forever. Nate always brings me tapes and gives them to me on the bus, then he asks if I like the music. How do I tell him I can't afford headphones? Let alone a pair of jeans from Goodwill? I always say I loved all the songs and he always says "yeah?" and smiles. God. His smile. His teeth are perfect. I usually have my hand upward so my palm is showing when we talk, and he takes his hand in his lap and massages my palm with his thumb. It's dorky but he's a dork. Such a sexy dork. He brings my leg up and puts it on his lap and I'm almost sitting in his lap. That'd be fun. God I want him. So fucking badly it hurts.
Kian.
She's in love with that idiot Nate Hudson. I'm going to kill him with my bare hands around his throat if he doesn't stay away from here. I have the strength. I will. I always, ALWAYS, try to flirt with her in all of our classes but she just talks about him. It's annoying. I tell her she looks like the sun and she comes at me with nerdy comebacks and I laugh and try to take her hand and she moves it too quickly, so it's impossible. In science she always looks out the window and her eyes glisten against the sunlight. I'm not used to not getting what I want, but she's worth fighing for.
Ally.
"Can you shut the fuck up about him?" "Excuse me? Don't get your panties in a wad, bucko." "well I'm sorry, Ally. But I'm tired of hearing about Nate all the time. I don't fucking care if he does this or that. I want you." And that's when I knew. I knew what Kian wanted. He wanted to be able to say he fucked the new girl and have somebody clinged to him like a piece of um on the bottom of your shoe. "Kian.." "Ally. Stop. Just tell me if you like me or not." He had tears in his eyes. His hands were shaking and his skin was ice cold. "Kian. I like you. I do. But N.." "ENOUGH ABOUT NATE. IT'S EITHER YOU LIKE ME OR NATE, NOT BOTH. IM NOT GOING TO CONFESS MY FEELINGS TO YOU AND CONTINUE TO TRY AND MAKE YOU MINE IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME BACK." And I left.
