My Secret Longing

Confessing undying love

Loving someone always comes with its downside, but it ultimately liberates us from having to think about our every move cautiously. When we decide we love someone, we either go all in or not at all. And if we go all in, we can't think about the what if's there is only our hope to lead us on our path. Finally, I understood that, and since I loved that insufferable man, I decided I was going all in.

I chose to resign from my job. I shouldn't have loved someone in a host country, which was totally unprofessional, but I did it anyway. Also, I didn't want to take up the job in India and lose my integrity, and mainly I didn't want to leave him. That decision left me with a more complicated problem of all. I decided to give him a chance when I wandered around that day before fainting and before I knew I was pregnant, but I was afraid that he would think I agreed to marry him because of the baby.

The baby was never a factor in the issue. The pregnancy was more of a surprise, even a miracle because people our age conceiving in a single go was unreal. Already it was difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant, and on top of that, the father of my child was nowhere to be found after he left my house angrily.

Two days had passed, and he didn't return. He simply left Rosie at my house to take care of me, and even she had no idea where he was. When I called, he didn't answer. I even sent a text message saying sorry as I felt guilty for hurting him like that. But there was zero response.

On the third day, afternoon, I got a call from a new number, so I reluctantly answered it.  It was Daniel. Desperation was apparent in his voice, when he said "Bhavishya, please save me." The way he said it was actually funny, so I mockingly asked, " From what ?" He immediately replied, " From the boss ." My playfulness vanished instantly, and I asked, " What happened?"

"Boss has started to come to the office at six  in the morning for the past two days, and I am not even sure if he was leaving. He is grumpier than usual, and I am at the receiving end of it. I could handle his normal mood swings, but this is out of my comfort zone. Please tell me what happened." I could hear the panic in his tone.

I was initially conflicted about whether to tell him or not. But since it was Daniel, I told him anyways," I am pregnant." He was calm. So I asked, "Hey, are you there?"

He then chuckled and said, " Bhavishya, Sorry! I was shocked." I said," Welcome to the club." He smiled at that and replied, " Congrats!! I quite frankly didn't expect this. I knew you two would hit it off, but this was like lightning speed. But wait .....why is he here then."

I then continued," He was angry at me for talking to Saito and said things which made me angry. So when he came from Japan, I was angry and asked if he would have doubted whether it was his baby if he knew I was pregnant before the Saito incident."

He sighed and said," Now I know why he is acting like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas eve. He is making me come to the office at 6 am Bhavishya. I am starting to look like a zombie. So please makeup with him and save me."

I dejectedly said, " Daniel, If you think I can control him, then you are sorely mistaken. Until you called, I had no idea he was at work. What is he doing there anyway? It's not even a week since you two returned from Japan."

He cleared his throat and solemnly said," I don't know what he is planning, but he asked me to call his lawyer, and I saw a petition for surrendering citizenship on his table. I think you should talk with him. He is definitely up to something, and it's serious."

I asked," Where is he now? I tried calling him, but he won't pick up. I even tried your office number."

He sheepishly said, " Sorry for that actually, he asked not to connect any call to his office, and he was talking to his lawyer for an hour now. That's why I decided to call you to know what happened."