with you through it all ; tododeku

4.

WARNING !

This chapter has implied self-harm (they don't talk about it in detail or anything, and only discuss it as "hurting yourself") and mentions of suicidal thoughts/intentions.

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Something is wrong; Todoroki can feel it in his bones.

He just is hit with a bad feeling all of a sudden; a strange sense of dread, but he doesn't quite know why. Well, he knows that it has to do with Midoriya acting differently- the boy has been since he was rescued a few weeks ago and it's understandable, of course it is, but this is somehow different than just that. He seems more… withdrawn, distant- mostly as of recent. It isn't like him, and quite honestly, it really fucking scares Todoroki.

Something is really, really wrong.

Todoroki finishes up the last of his homework and then tosses the folder aside. He's tired and sore from the training he did for class today, knows his classmates must be feeling the same way. Though somehow some of them still have enough energy to be hanging out and playing games downstairs in the common area, and he doesn't understand how; he can barely keep his mismatched eyes open.

It's about that time when he gets a text from Yaoyorozu saying that dinner is done if he wants to come down and eat. Todoroki doesn't- well, he does, because he is hungry and he does want to eat, but he's not really in the mood to socialize or anything. Not right now. His head hurts and frankly, he kind of just wants to lie down and sleep.

But despite what he wants, he drags himself out of his room and over to the elevator, pressing the button to go downstairs. It's a moment's wait before the doors reopen and he's greeted by the smell of the food. His stomach growls almost comically as he makes his way into the common area, watching as Yaoyorozu, Uraraka and Koda set the tables up and start plating the food.

He finds himself searching for Midoriya - when Todoroki gets in these awkward moods, Midoriya usually helps - but he doesn't see him anywhere. He finds himself frowning. Why isn't he here already like he usually would be? Even though he's been withdrawn, Midoriya is always present for dinner unless he's sick.

Or unless something is wrong.

Pulling Uraraka aside, Todoroki asks her if she's seen Midoriya anywhere and she has to think for a moment.

"You know, now that you mention it," she murmurs, looking around, "Where is Deku? I actually haven't seen him since after we got back, so… I'm guessing he just went to his room? If you want to, you could go check and then maybe see if he wants to come down and eat."

Todoroki shifts awkwardly, nodding instead of speaking. He turns quickly and heads right for the elevator, getting inside and going up to the second floor. After arriving, he finds Midoriya's door, stands in front of it for a while and then finally, he knocks.

"Midoriya?" he calls out, but he receives no answer, so he knocks again. "Midor-"

The door is suddenly opened, leaving Todoroki feeling a bit stunned. Midoriya looks up at him from where he stands partially in the doorway, partially inside of his room, and he looks… off… somehow, but Todoroki doesn't know what exactly is different about him. He looks tired, looks upset, but because of his expression, Todoroki can't convince himself to ask the boy what's wrong. Perhaps he's afraid of the answer.

The taller boy straightens up a little, his heart beating fast from being startled. He swallows and wets his lips before he asks, "Are you coming to eat dinner with everyone? I feel really… awkward right now, honestly, so I was hoping you'd like to come sit with me."