Nothing Left to Give // Drarry

Chapter 2- King's Cross

(Just go with me here, it's for plot purposes, I know Ginny isn't "feminine" in the books and is presented as more of a tomboy. I don't really like Ginny so we're changing things up)

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I walked through the barrier to King's Cross Station. The bustling of the crowd was just loud enough that it sounded like low ocean waves. I looked at the large train, not thinking I would ever see it again or miss the sound of the whistle. I tried looking around to find my friends. I found the Weasleys and Hermione a little ways away. It wasn't hard to see the sea of red hair amongst the other wizards on the platform. I didn't go over to them though. I felt awkward being around their family. It was my fault they were so broken. If it wasn't for me, Fred wouldn't be dead, George would be happy again, and Ginny wouldn't be pissed at me.

It wasn't my best idea to break up with her after the war. I should have stayed. They needed comfort, but so did I. I have never put myself first and I knew I wasn't happy in that relationship. How could I date someone I had no interest in? I shouldn't have to live like that. Maybe if she had taken it better I still would have been able to be there for the family, for her. I saw a different side of her. It wasn't bad, entirely, I just didn't like it. Maybe she was too feminine or too needy. I didn't want to give her what she wanted and that wasn't fair on her. We had only kissed once or twice and both times were extremely awkward and weird. So yeah, maybe she was too feminine.... Or maybe she was too female.

I dragged my trunk over to the people loading the train and got on board. I wondered who else was coming back? That only made me think of Malfoy again. I really didn't want a repeat of the sixth year. I could only handle so much of an obsession. I walked down the aisle and noted the people in the compartments. Hufflepuffs normally sat towards the front, I assume it's to greet people when they come on. Then it's the Ravenclaws by the emergency exits, they do this so that they can tell people how to leave in case of problems. The Gryffindors sit next, not much reasoning there just kind of what was left. Then at the very back of the train was where the Slytherins were located, probably to isolate themselves from the other houses. I tried to find our normal compartment, but I ended up walking into snake territory.

I thought it was our compartment so I went to open the door. What I found was Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zambini, and none other than Draco Malfoy. Pansy and Blaise both snapped there heads towards me, to door probably creaked when I opened it. Malfoy stayed gazing out the window. He looked much calmer than I remembered, he also looked less broken, freer. I saw a hand wave in from of my face and when I looked over it was Pansy. She had her hands on her hips and it looked like she was trying to tell me something. Probably asking why I was here.

I pointed to my ears and said "I can't hear what you said. I lost my hearing during the war," Pansy and Blaise exchanged a look. I couldn't read lips very well so I knew this conversation would be pointless. I was about to turn around and leave because the atmosphere became very tense. I couldn't help but wonder why Draco hadn't turned around yet. I would have thought he would love to torment me about this even if I wouldn't have been able to hear it. Pansy seemed to notice I was staring again and took a deep breath before gaining my attention and raising her hands.

"Do you know sign? I asked why you were here," she signed. I was shocked that she knew sign. Her question wasn't offensive. It wasn't super common in the muggle world let alone the wizarding world. Why would she have bothered to learn?

"Yes I do, why do you know it? I thought this was a different compartment," like I said my sentences were a little choppy but it gets the point across. Pansy looked over at Blaise again and he nodded to the unspoken question.

"The same thing happened to Draco. We learned over the summer because he forced us too. He's fluent if you need help," she responded while pointed to Malfoy. Did Pansy Parkinson, the Queen of Slytherin, just offer me help on behalf of my rival of 8 years to learn sign language? As if she could read my mind she responds with, "He doesn't hate you, you know. He just has a weird way of showing it. He's," she pauses with her hands mid-air, looking back at him, "changed now."

 
"We all have," I sign back. I have to maintain eye contact but I glance over at Malfoy one last time before signing, "Thanks," and turning to leave. When I shut the door I thought about what on Earth had just happened. It wasn't like Malfoy to not jump at the chance to humiliate me. It also wasn't like Pansy and Blaise to not tell him I was there. Not to mention he went deaf too? That couldn't just be a coincidence. On top of all that, now I had even more reasons pushing me to make amends with him. Who knows, maybe he did change.

Two doors to the right I found Ron and Hermione's tensely staring at each other on the same bench. Ah, young love. I cleared my throat and they both snapped their head towards me. "What's up?" I say out loud, trying to ease the tension.

"Nothing" Hermione signs quickly.

At the same time, Ron slowly fingerspells out "G-I-N-N-Y".

I wince at both Ron's bluntness and 'Minone's attempt to hide the present situation. I knew it was hard on Ron as well, he loved Ginny and to see her upset because of me probably hurt. She didn't seem to care about me at the time so I didn't see the problem when I did it. I still feel guilty about it, now that I've had time to think, and I also knew I should have done it long before the war started. It wasn't fair on her to make her date someone that wasn't present for the majority of their relationship. The things she said after, the things she admitted to... it left us both sore. I don't think we could ever come to an agreement after that. I was too harsh, she was damaged and I should have stayed even if it would have hurt me. I hadn't cared about myself for years why did it matter then? "What about her?" I signed, looking at Ron.

He looked over to Hermione, signaling it was too much for him to sign. I sat down across from her and read her movements. "She was going to ask to sit here when she saw you with the Slytherins. I told her you probably just made a wrong turn and weren't planning on staying," perceptive as always, "She said some choice words about them, especially Malfoy, claimed you were going to abandon us by the end of the year like you did to her. I knew that wasn't true and she told me I didn't know anything and stormed off. Ron's more upset with Ginny than you, but it still hurts. Give him time"

I sigh leaning my head back. I'm not as good at signing as I am reading it so it was fairly easy for me to understand what she said. Ron didn't even bother, but he already knew what happened so I didn't really care. I'm pretty positive that if he knew what really went down that day, saw what she said, what she had done, he would be more on my side. I couldn't tell anybody though because I knew she would just tell everyone the real reason we broke up and I wouldn't be able to handle that. I trusted her, that was going to be my biggest mistake if I wasn't careful. I closed my eyes so they couldn't talk to me even if they wanted to, which they probably didn't.

I thought more about Malfoy. What would happen if I had taken his hand? Would I be where I am now? Would I have been able to beat Voldemort? I knew I would have been in Slytherin if I had trusted him instead of Ron. It may have even taken less time if I had them on my side. Hermione might be smart, but she's kinda the only Gryffindor like that. They would understand the war more than we did. A lot of their parents were Death Eaters and would have had helpful information. Getting that information from the snakes is the hard part.

I looked out the window and fell asleep with the very low rumble to the train below me. Soon we would be back at Hogwarts.

Soon I would be home.