Desperado [18+] {Discontinued}

CHAPTER TEN~ FEAR

Harlem,New York- 03/09/20
Jackson Household~ 4:38pm

It's been a couple weeks since I took them three pregnancy tests and a couple days since I got clarification that I was officially pregnant. My morning sickness was painful and my hormones and emotions was kicking my ass. But nothing compares to the guilt I have now....I still haven't told Michael. Granit I've been around him 24/7, I've hid it well.

Right now I was at Mama K and Papa J's house, talking to Mama K about this whole situation.

"Honey what do you have to tell me?" She asked with a concerning look.

We were in the kitchen, Mama K was making a big family dinner. Everybody's coming over but they don't know I'm already here, especially Michael.

"Ummm....w-well..."

She sighed "Babycakes, just tell me what's wrong"

I sighed, feeling tears running down my cheeks, I sniffled "I'm pregnant Ma"

She gasped and smiled "Oh my goodness!"

She walked around the island and pulled me into a hug which caused me to start sobbing.

She gasped "Oh no no no, what wrong?"

"I'm scared Ma, so scared what if something happens like last time with Laila...I don't wanna go through that again"

She sighed and pulled me into a hug rubbing my back and rocking me slowly.

"I know the feeling of losing a baby. It's like losing a piece of you, but babycakes, you have a second chance." She pulled back and sat on the stool next to me, grabbing my hands. "Now when I lost Brandon, I thought I'd never get a second chance but I ended up getting three more chances" We both giggled as she continued "There isn't a day that goes by that I have any regrets, I do miss Brandon with all my heart but then I look at Michael, Janet and Randy and realized what I've gained and thank the lord every day for them. With this new baby, you should think the same"

I nodded and sniffled "Yes ma'am"

She smiled "I'll leave you be to think about this. And remember, this is your second chance, not alot of people get that"

I nodded and kissed her cheek "I'll be in the garden"

I walked out the back door, into the garden.

I went and sat at the fountain, looking at the flowers.

Daisies, sunflowers, dandelions.

They were all beautiful.

But one caught my attention.

I walked over and saw a Rose in the concrete walkway.

I kneeled down and stared at it for while.

"A rose in Harlem, Grew out the concrete
A rose in Harlem, You know it ain't sweet
A rose in Harlem, Can't tell me any- any- any- anything"

You know it ain't sweet, can't tell me anything.

Those words suck with me since forever and I've followed them like a rule book.

They've helped me so far, they can help me again with this.

"You okay mamas?"

I sighed and turned around seeing Michael sitting at the fountain with a concerning look on his face.

I smiled and nodded, walking over to him "Yeah, I'm just thinking"

I sat down as he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my temple "You wanna talk about it?"

I nodded, reaching in my purse. "Actually there's something I needa tell you"

"What is it?"

I handed it to him.

He stared at, with tears in his eyes "Wait a minute....you forreal?"

I nodded feeling tears running down my face "I'm pregnant Michael, almost a month"

He started sobbing, I pulled him in my arms feeling his tears wet my shirt.

I rocked our bodies back and forth looking up at the sky.

"Thank you God, Thank You Laila"