Shards (a.i.)

V. blonde and skinny jeans

Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you

-habits(stay high) by tove lo

I woke up and it felt like I had slept through many many years. But I hadn't and I was disappointed. I just wanted to sleep, nothing else for the rest of my life.

"Honey, what happened? Why did you pass out?", my mom asked worriedly. "Nothing happened. I just passed out. I wanted to eat but I hadn't since the morning and I guess it was too much for me and the weather and it just happened", I rambled. My mom gave me a worried look but the only thing she said was:"Someone's waiting for you outside. Do you want him to cone inside?"

Her mention of a him confused me but I nodded anyways.

A minute later a buy came in and the second I saw his face I knew who he was. He was a boy from my school. I knew him since third grade but we never really talked. He was really tall and had blonde hair.

"My name is Luke, maybe you remember me", he said and smiled at him. He had been the only kid that didn't laugh about the scar in my stomach.

"Of course I remember you. Thank you for saving me or whatever", I said and hugged him as he had stepped closer to me. We talked for about 20 minutes until he told me he had to go. He had band practise or something. My mom came in and gave me an asking look. Of course she wasn't used to me being around guys.

"He brought me here after I passed out", I told her and she smiled. But not a normal smile but this creepy smile all adults give their girls when they're around boys.

"Mom, not like that!", I said.

"Alex, I wanted to talk to you about something. I asked myself what we could do because I don't want you to be sad and depressed. You may have learned how to hide it but I'm still your mother and I notice when you're sad. You should be happy and enjoy your life. I was wondering if you'd be willing to visit a group therapy. Just once in a week and if you don't like it after a month or two, you tell me and we can find another solution but I want the best for you and I want us to be a happy two women family again", she said. I just stared at her.

"Mom, please don't put me into a support group", I told her and she looked at me sadly.

"I already phoned a few people and you have your first session on Friday"

"I have my first session tomorrow?", I asked, angered. How could she do this to me. Right after all the time she ignored me.

"Please Alexa. You can always tell me you want to leave but please try it for a few times", she pleaded. I knew I wasn't coming out of this and the only way was to go there for 3-4 weeks and then say I hate it.

"Okay mom, I'll do it", I told her and smiled.

"Thank you Alexa. You don't even know how much that means to me"

Great, tomorrow I had my first group session with teenagers I didn't know and problems I didn't want to know about.

××××××××

I'm really sorry for not updating for so long but school is a bitch and sometimes I'm just not in the mood for writing.

I hope you like this song as much as me because it means so much to me and I just love it.

Btw I have 5sos tickets. I still can't believe it...

-becky