Phoenixs pov:
"I'm really worried about how he's going to react to having him here Brent! What if he gets worse? What if they don't sort anything out?!" I panicked venting to Brent usually helped but it didn't.. i was to worried, dad had managed to stay away from everything that would normally cause him to relapse, he'd even given up E-cigarettes because he didnt want to fuck everything up.. "you should just talk to him nix, you said it normally helps to talk to him that could be it now, he might just need someone to talk to." i nodded and walked outside "PHOENIX!!" someone screeched and jumped onto my back, motionless had gone back to finish there tour about a week ago, and Devin left the same day i did, so it was very obviously none other than the lovely joshua balz "BALLZZ!" i screamed back and he juymped down "congrats faggots!" he said to me and Tj who im assuming was behind me, i thanked him and Tj wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. I immediately held onto his hands just out of habit and balz 'awed' "you guys are so fucking cute!!" He told us and I smiled, we continued talking to balz for a bit until I got bored "baby I'm going to find Devin." I told him and he quickly kissed me "okay babe I'll see you in a bit." I guessed that he'd be on motionless's bus still so I opened the unlocked door to see Chris lying on the couch "chrisssyyy!" I said loudly making him jump "oh it's just you phoenix! Fucking hell you scared me!" I laughed and he jumped up and hugged me. "congratulations by the way!" He said and I smiled "thanks, it's weird thinking about it though like I'm going to be stuck with Tj for ever after this! But to be honest I don't think it will be that awful." Chris nodded "he's a big kid, but you love him so it will be fun you know? Like a giant adventure together." I laughed at how sappy Chris was getting "anyways have you seen Devin?" I asked and he shook his head "I think he's still in his bunk." I nodded and went to the top bunk on the left "I'm invading your feminine quarters get up ghosty!" I said opening the curtains to find a half asleep half crying Devin "aw devy what's wrong?" I cooed climbing into the all black bunk and sitting next to his curled up self. he didn't say anything just cried and hugged me "hey Dev what ever has happened it's not as bad as you think it is okay sweetie?" I said in my best mother voice "you sound like my mom you retard." he said giggling slightly "it worked didn't it?! Now get the fuck out of this bus I still haven't said hi to Ricky!" Devin rolled his eyes as I jumped out of the bunk "ow fuck." I groaned as I fell forward hitting my head on a door "serves you right." Devin said stubbornly and I just continued to glare at him "someone's happier." i snapped playfully and he laughed helping me up, we walked back outside and I decided to surprise Tj who was deep in conversation with Craig, I motioned for Craig to stay quite and jumped onto Tj's back, I lent forward and kissed his cheek "hey baby, so you found Devin?" He asked and I nodded "hey Craig!" I waved and he smiled "congrats kid! Wait but no kids!" He added and I laughed as Tj wrapped his arms around my back so I didn't fall and I leant further forward so my head was resting on his shoulder "Roberts on the bus if you wanna go see him nix." Tj told me and I nodded, as he let me down "I'll see you in a bit guys!" I said happily and walked off to see Robert "hey shit head." monte said and I rolled my eyes "sup fucker." I said back and he laughed "Roberts in his bunk you know where it is. congrats by the way." he said and I thanked him walking through to the bunk room "hey dad." I said quietly as I pulled the curtain back, Robert looked burnt out, like seriously ready to just get everything over with and die.. it was awful "hey nix." he said his voice hoarse and barely audible "you look like shit if I'm honest." I told him and he smiled slightly "way to make a guy feel good!" I laughed and stayed stood on the ground "you coming up?" He asked and I shook my head "you coming out?" I asked and he shrugged "maybe.." I glared up at him "come on, I know you haven't been out of this bus since your last show, even on days off you stay in your bunk! Grow some balls and get into that fucking shower, get changed and go and show dad that your doing fine without him, wether you are or your not!" I said forcefully and he folded his arms, I pointed towards the bathroom and he slid out of his bunk, he stomped to the bathroom like a five year old who'd just had there first experience with paint "holy fucking shit, not only did you get him to leave his bed your making him shower, woman your a miracle worker!" I heard an unfamiliar voice say "yeah this is Kevin he's our stand in for Tj right about now." monte said and I nodded in acknowledgment "so who is this chick?" I heard him ask monte "this is Tj's Fiancé and Roberts sort of daughter." I heard monte explain and I walked into the lounge as monte launched into the story of how I'm Max's daughter and how Max and Robert broke up and in the end made him shut up about it "all you need to know is that my dads aren't currently together. he doesn't need to know the full story Bryan." monte glared at me "since when did you call me Bryan?" He snapped "since when did you release people's private information out to the world?" I sneered back "now now children, no need to fight." Kevin said and I turned to glare at him "fuck off Kevin." monte and I said at the same time, I turned back to monte and death glared him "it's just Kevin! I mean he's going to have to now this things when he takes my place in the band an-" I cut him off "YOUR LEAVING?!" I yelled at him and he nodded "did no one tell you?" I continued to glare at him "why would you not tell one of your best fucking friends your leaving?! Craig didn't tell me, Roberts been to fucking pissed to answer anyone's calls let alone tell me that your fucking off somewhere else! Next thing you'll be telling me that your moving out of LA!" Monte shifted his weight from one foot to another "about that.." he trailed off and I groaned "where to?" I asked sounding slightly calmer "back to Nevada..." I turned on my heel and stormed to the bus door "come on phoenix I'll still see you!" Monte yelled after me and I just slammed the door shut "so monte told you?" Craig asked, I glared at him before returning my gaze to the sandy coloured bricks of Brent's drive "well that went well dick head!" I heard Craig say to monte, who I'm assuming had left the bus as well "yeah well she fucking hates Kevin to! So have fun with that one guys!" I heard Craig scream slightly before I flung open the front door and went up to my room. I knew Tj would still be outside with the guys so I took the opportunity to release some anger, by that I mean I no longer have a four legged desk chair.. and there's now a whole in my door.. Today was supposed to be happy! It was never going to perfect considering everything that was going on with my parents but you'd think that it would've turned out better than this! I flung myself down onto my bed and sobbed into my pillow, one of my closest friends was leaving me, I mean I obviously still have Tj, he's my best friend and I'm going to be stuck with him forever soon but it's different because if monte leaves who am I going to go and have boring movie nights with? And eat insane amounts of pizza together! Yes I can do these things with Tj but with monte it's different because, yes I love him, but I'm not IN love with him.. ugh it's all so confusing and shitty and that Kevin guy is such an asshole, I'm never going to get on with him and everything is so shit! after a few minuets of crying I heard to voices outside of my door "should we both go? I mean I get it if you just want to go teej, but she's still my best friend and this is my fault.." I heard Tj sigh, I guess he noticed the hole.. "yeah we should both go, I mean it would be good for us both to go.." suddenly there was silence again and all that could be heard was my staggered breathing and silent sobs, they opened the door and Tj must've noticed the chair with the "for fuck sake.." He muttered, the bed dipped down and I heard Tj's voice speaking directly to me "baby? What's wrong? Come on honey tell me what's up.." he asked his voice filled with concern, and then monte joined in to "it's okay nix you can tell us what's up.." I practically felt Tj glare at monte "what?" He asked defensively and Tj muttered something about him being completely insensitive, and knowing exactly what was up but just asking stupid questions. but that's what monte did. he asked stupid, obvious questions and even still he sat there acting like a dick. the bed was comfortable enough for me to be fine lying in the position I was, and apparently I was on Tj's side as all I could smell was him, his familiar cigarettes and cologne smell. the smell of him on the bed was enough to drive me into his arms and sob into him, breathing in his scent as well as huge lung fills of oxygen. I stopped acting like a little bitch after a few minuets and just held on to my human comforter "I don't want monte to leave. he's one of my best friends and it's weird knowing that soon I won't be able to just walk over to his house and act like a complete idiot or talk to Michael about stupid shit like tacos, and I won't be able to sit in montes room and eat stupid amounts of pizza at stupid times in the morning or watch crappy soppy movies and talk about bullshit, or complain to him about little things like when we argue about spearmint toothpaste being better than your stupid strawberry ice cream flavoured one and it's just so shit knowing that not only is monte leaving the band he's moving like ten hours away from me!" I finished my little rant and Tj pulled my face up to look at him "baby you can do all of those things with me! The pizza the movies the only thing you can't do is talk to Michael about tacos.. cause you know there both going together.." I sighed and looked at Tj "I know I can do those things with you but it's different, I'm IN love with you but I love monte, just as a normal friendly brother type thing but it's still different to how I love you teej." he nodded and monte finally spoke "you do realise that when I leave the band I can come to Kentucky more, considering that's where you and Max are going to be for like the next few months!" I shrugged and then turned to face monte "wait when are you leaving the band?" "Phoenix I'm already gone.. this was my last stop.." I turned to face Tj "there's not anything you need to tell me is there?" And Tj looked shifty "don't get mad!" He said and I knew what was coming after that "I'm leaving with the guys in two days." he blurted out and I let go of him "phoenix don't be mad! You know it's my job, I can't just leave them without a bassist." I glared at him and shuffled to the edge of the bed before standing up "don't break more shit please phoenix!" Tj pleaded with me and I walked to the door "for your information I'm not breaking anything because I want to! Not because you asked me to." I heard him get up and monte stopped him "just leave her for a while Tj, she'll calm down." calm down! Ha! I'll do no such fucking thing! Everyone's fucking leaving! So when my family decides to fuck off home I'll be left here with no one but dad, Brent, Mikey and Aaron and Aaron's such a perv with Tj here! Imagine how bad he'll be when he's gone! I walked through the lounge to the kitchen, it seemed that the guys had all come inside now, even Robert who was awkwardly sat next to Kevin who was awkwardly trying to mouth a sorry to me. I ignored him and walked to the kitchen grabbing a tiny bottle of jack Daniels and then leaving. I put my hoodie on and climbed up the ladder of the ETF bus. I lay back across the roof looking up at the darkening sky and pulled my cigarettes out of my pocket. I lit one and unscrewed the lid of my bottle. I downed it in one and continued smoking my cigarette six cigarettes later it was now pitch black and someone decided to join me. they silently sat down next to me and lit there own cigarette. I could tell by the lighter it was Tj and I honestly had no idea what he wanted, quite frankly I was still majorly pissed off at him for not telling me. "I get it your mad at me but please don't do anything stupid, I should've told you don't you think I know that without you ignoring me?!" He said his voice dripping with desperation "who said I was ignoring you." I stated calmly and he shifted his position so he was lying next to me "the way you've chain smoked six cigarettes and the fact you think I wasn't watching you from Max's bedroom window." I mentally cursed dads awesome view of the drive and picked at my nail varnish "I'm not mad.. I just don't want you to go.. I'm never not with you for as long as your going to be away.." he sighed and I sat upright. after a few silent moments he sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders "but you know your my special girl and I love you way to much to ever leave you and do anything with anyone else don't you?" I nodded in response ignored the doubts in my mind "you know you could always come with me.." I shook my head "Tj don't give me that option, please don't! I can't leave dad like this, who knows what he'd do, Brent can't watch him forever." Tj sighed "I just wish they'd sort this out, I don't want to leave you for so long, it's like a month and a half and it would suck so much without having you there!" He told me and I lit another cigarette I didn't even get to take a second drag before Tj put it out "stop it, stop being stressed and looking for distractions!" I glared at the roof of the bus through the gaps in my crossed legs "please, baby, just tell me what's bugging you." I sat there silent, still glaring at the bus like it had just murdered my nan or something! Because what was eating me alive I couldn't tell Tj, it would just come out wrong and fuck everything up "come on phoenix! You can't just keep this bottled up! You can't because you'll exude eventually and even if it hurts for you to say it will get better in the long run.." he was preparing himself for the worst and I could feel him doing it "in worried you'll forget about me Tj!" I exclaimed putting him out of his misery "I could never forget about you baby! No one will ever be as special to me as you are, okay?" I nodded and he sighed pulling me closer "what are we going to do with you, eh?" He asked and I shrugged burying my head in his side "I'll be fine. just text me or call me whenever you can." I said and I could feel his smile "we can have Skype dates like we did when you were in England and I was in LA." he said and I giggled, they weren't really dates just talks really.
Flashback
"Phoenix stop hiding, turn your camera on I miss your beautiful face!" Tj whined and I laughed "no teej! I look like shit!" I was wearing one of his hoodies and had my hair up, my face was blotchy from crying after arguing with dad again and I really didn't want Tj to see me like this "phoenix clare green you cannot possibly look bad EVER!" He over exaggerated but it did the trick, I switched my camera on and rolled my eyes at him "happy now?" I asked and he nodded "of course I am! I'm always happy when I'm talking to you.." he trailed off and I giggled nervously "see I was right you still look beautiful." he told me and I blushed and took a bite of my pizza, Tj did as well at the exact same time I did. we both swallowed our mouthfuls and he laughed "cheese pizza, the most beautiful thing except jack." we both said simultaneously, we both started laughing and Tj thought for a second "oh my god this was our first Skype date!" He told me, acting like a teenage girl. "and how exactly Mr Bell is this a Skype date?" I asked and he shrugged "we're both eating and talking and it's in Skype, therefor it's a Skype date!"
I laughed at the memory and Tj looked at me slightly confused "I was remembering our first Skype date." I clarified and he nodded and smiled "I stand by what I said, you can never look bad, darling your always fabulous!" He said the last part in a camp accent and I laughed so hard I almost fell off of the roof "careful beautiful, I need you." he said as he caught hold of me "thanks for you know, catching me." I told him and he pecked my lips "I'll always be there to catch you when you fall............."
A/n FLUFFFF!! ITS SO FLUFFY IM GUNNA DIE!! So I felt as if there needed to be some cuteness to celebrate the fortieth chapter making this officially my longest fanfic ever!! I love all of you cupcakes! ❤️
