You're insane

chapter 21: broken promises..

phoenix's pov:
i walked to the kitchen door and went to open it, but then i heard "but Tj im so scared, im so worried about her! what if she goes off in the deep end again, what if she goes back on her promise? tj what if we dont find her in time this time.. i just got her back i dont want to lose her again tj.." i decided to walk in at this point to find Robert comforting dad, who shocked me by being in tears... i walked over to dad hugging him "i promise you wont lose me daddy.." Robert wrapped his arms around the two of us and then the worst thing happened.. "phoenix why's your sleeve wet?" robert asked me, i looked down to see a red smear on roberts arm, shit. "its not water hunny, its blood.." he said and i let a small tear roll down my cheek, i pulled out of the hug and went to walk up to my room, but stopped and sat down on the stairs, i ignored the bleeding coming from my arm and sobbed, my head leaning against the wall. Tj walked out of the kitchen and i felt his gaze rest on my shaking body. i sat waiting for him to do something, to walk away or to get dad, his decision shocked me as he sat next to me on the carpeted stairs, i almost cried harder as he wrapped his arms around me, then i realised it wouldnt matter so i did... tj pulled me closer and i turned so i could sob into his chest properly.. "its okay nix, sh sh baby calm down." he reassurigly whispered i tried to breath through the tears but went flying into a full scale break down. i tried closing my eyes and calming down slightly but it didnt work, it seemed to make it worse, tj pulled me into his lap and i felt him put an arm underneath my knees, he stood up, me still a shaking mess in his arms. i felt tj move as we made our way up the stairs, we walked through my room into my bathroom and tj put my down on the edge of the bath. Tj helped me roll up my blood soaked sleeve, i chewed my lip as he peeled off my not so amazing plaster and assesed the damage. he grabbed a cloth from sink and began to clean off the blood. he sighed his eyes still blurry and puffy from crying, i sat silently trying to control my sobs as tj poured peroxide onto my cuts, before putting a bandage on it. when he'd finished i realised my sobs had become silent but more uncontrolable and i was shaking like a leaf.. the tears were streaming and i couldnt seem to stop them tj was obviously trying to think of what to do and when to do it. i slowly slid off of the bath and onto the floor, i brought my knees up to my chest, i leant my head against me knees and just cried, i sobbed louder than i'd ever sobbed, i shook so much, i felt tj's arms wrap around me again and he hugged me tighter than he ever had before. i curled into him realising just how much i'd missed him "im so sorry phoenix.. it was an accident and it wasnt even me who started it.. im so sorry i love you so much i never wanted it to be this way.." i wrapped my arms around him in response. i felt him relax slightly as i soaked his shirt in tears "you'll be okay baby." and in that moment, i was sure that i would be..

max's pov:
i sat stunned in the same seat i'd been sat in for the past half an hour. i was stunned into silence, phoenix had broken her promise, to all of us.. i wasnt disapointed, i was shocked. she'd been doing so we- no max, she hadnt been doing so well you were just to busy with Robert and Tj you didnt notice how much your own daughter was hurting.. "maxi dont over think it, but maybe sending her to schooll was a bad thing to do, maybe that added to it all and made it worse.." i looked up at robert and spoke for the first time since phoenix left the kitchen "maybe. do you think she should be home schooled?" he nodded and i made the decision then and there, of course i'd talk to her about it but after the fight she put up when we told her she had to go i'm sure she wouldnt object to it at all. "do you think she'd be okay if we went to speak to her now?" i asked cautiously, he nodded and we walked upstairs to se phoenix's room empty, we walked into the bathroom to find her and Tj clinging to eachother on the floor "phoenix can we talk to you?" i said quietly and she looked up from tj's shoulder, she was shaking, so much and the tears didnt stop at all "we want to home school you." i told her the tears began to slow and she became slightly calmer "we just feel like the added pressure of school may of made this worse.." i nodded in agreement to robert and phoenix seemed to calm down alot, well enough to stop crying, she was still shaking. after talking phoenix through how the homeschooling thing would work robert and i went to bed, drained from todays drama.

Tj's pov:
Max and Robert left and i looked down at the pale, fragile girl i held in my arms.. Max didnt notice how with every day she looked more and more fragile, like at any point she could break down and die.. i could feel her shaking but the tears had stopped, for now anyways. "want me to carry you to your bed?" i asked as she yawned. she nodded and i lifted her up, bridal style, and carried her into her bedroom. "do you need pyjamas?" i asked and she nodded i grabbed a shirt and a pair of shorts for, i handed them to her and walked to the door as she changed. i went to open it but stooped as phoenix called my name. i turned to face her "please, stay." i nodded and walked back over to the bed "wanna watch a movie?" i asked as i slid out of my jeans, she shook her head "not tonight, im exhausted.." she said as i pulled off my shirt "i am to." i admitted. i climbed into the bed next to phoenix and she immediatley rested her head against my chest "i missed you so much teej.. im so sorry about how i reacted i was such a bitch and i didnt want to listen to anyhing you had to say.." i sighed and wrapped my arms around her "its okay nix, i get it i really do, you have no idea how much it missed you these last few days.." phoenix yawned again causing me to a few seconds afterwards. "night tj." "night phoenix.." i replied slipping into a deep sleep.
listening to all time low fools holiday.