desiderium- Jasper Hale

Pt 31: in or out?

"You all know what I want," Bella says as she stands at the bottom of the staircase, looking out at us all. "And I know how much I'm asking for..."

We were all gathered together in the Cullen's living room, only the next evening after returning from Volterra. I was stood next to Jasper, as he cradled Micah in his hands. I was falling more and more in love with him as I watch the bond growing between him and Micah. 

Bella had called for a family meeting, and we each knew exactly what it was about. Due to the late hour and lack of sleep, I was feeling more and more delusional. I was feeling extremely reserved, and I could tell that there were some reservations floating throughout the minds of the Cullens too...

"The only thing I can think of for it to be fair is to just vote," Bella continued, as I looked up at Jasper confused. Jaz just shook his head at me in uncertainty as we both looked back at my sister in anticipation. 

"You don't know what you're talking about," Edward murmurs from behind Bella, standing further up the staircase from her. 

"Shut up," Bella urges, clearly frustrated with Edwards negativity. "Alice..." Bella questions, watching as Alice smirks at Edward's defeated expression.

"I already consider you my sister," Alice exclaims, ushering over to give Bella a hug. "Yes!"

"Thank you," Bella whispers, sincerely.

"I vote yes," Jasper interrupts, as he looks up from Micah's face. "It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time."

Bella nods in agreeance as I laugh shortly at their odd exchange, looking over at me expectedly. 

"As long as it's something you want," I tell her seriously. "And you know what you're sacrificing... if so, yes."

"I do," Bella exclaims as she gives me a tight embrace. "I promise."

I nod at her shortly as she steps back from me, looking over at Rose and Emmett.

"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry to both of you for how I've acted," Rose says looking at Bella and Edward genuinely. "And I'm really glad that you were brave enough to go and save my brother... But this isn't a life I would have chosen for myself, and I wish that there had been someone to vote no for me... So, no."

There was a moment of silence that washed over the group as Bella registered Rose's words. I knew wholeheartedly that everything Rose said was true and well-intended... And I knew that in time, Bella would learn the same.

"I vote, hell yeah," Emmett exclaims, rushing over and embracing Bella in a huge embrace, making me jump in surprise at the disruption to the awkward silence that had overcome the room. "And we can pick a fight with these Volturi some other way."

"Don't hold your breath," I murmur, more to myself, as I look up, catching sight of Edwards still gaze. 

"I already consider you a part of this family... Yes," Esme says, as she looks up towards Edward also.

Taking a short moment, I watch as Carlisle walks towards Edward, his face filled with a pang of consuming guilt and hopelessness. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" Edward asks him. "You know what this means."

"You've chosen to not live without her, which leaves me with no choice," Carlisle replied glumly. "I won't lose my son."

I couldn't help but look at Jasper and Micah. I knew that I too, could never live without them, and for that to be the case, I needed to come to peace with my future, and make it more of a certainty.