"Swarni POV"
It just took a phone call, a single phone call to open my eyes. To know the real reason of my whole existence, to understand the level of shit I have been feed.
Let me rewind:
Yesterday when I didn't went to ayaans place to avoid him. I took a resort at nia's place instead of ayaan's but that still gone failed when he followed me there as well. I wasn't able to understand the real reason, that why exactly he can't accept me or leave me at the same time. I again locked myself up but this time the difference was that ayaan was continuously banging on my door. He said he was sorry, he said he will make everything right. Every time nia asked him to go back home and she was asking him to calm down and leave me alone he bangs and shouts even louder which was getting under nia's nerves. I guess that was the reason which made her start her side of an argument on my behalf. With his every bang on my door she was making him even more guilty conscious about our situation which I know I couldn't say on my own.
However he was shouting even louder to bring me out of the room. But on the other side of the door sitting on the floor with the support of the door I was already indulged in a self pity , I was observing my pathetic life : so this is what I have become, a looser who know nothing more than to run away from her problems. I also wanted to shout at him, in fact I wanted to slap him along with his father, my uncle and his pain in the ass daughter. But no, instead what I was doing right at that moment was being locked in again. I was behaving like that pigeon who chose to close his eyes so that a cat can't see him in the expectation that he might live. Huh!! Silly pigeon.. Well the joke actually is on me. After about one and a half hour ayaan understood that his struggle was not enough for me so he left.
I was getting normal again, trying my hardest to remove the pain which has stuck inside of me. My formula of avoiding him has now became my final and permanent solution. Nia gave me a black tea to calm my nerves while she went to the gym for her daily workout. Despite of her age it's really hard for one to guess how old she is. She is 5'4 still slim and the pressure of being single mother doesn't aged her at all.
My mind was busy praising her beauty while shifting my weight on the kitchen bar when I have heard a glass crashing sound from the room i was staying. My pulse went high on my first instinct I picked up the pan hanging above my head and started walking towards the room, I could hear a movement someone was winning and whispering in pain. All the horror stories I have heard till now was now playing in the background of my head. My palms on the handle of the pan was getting wet my knuckles were changing shades and i can hear the slow breeze passing my ears giving an authentic horror movies sound effects. Once I reached the door my foots stopped on their own to prepare myself to face whatever it in there.
After about may whole 2 minutes I inhaled a deep breath and started om chanting, by accumulating all the courage I turned the knob of the door and what I saw made me drop the pan.
It was ayaan lying on the floor, his forearm had a piece of glass stung to it and the blood was visible through his shirt. Then I lifted my eyelids to see the source of that wound, the window right above from where he is lying. He actually broke that glass window to get in. I can't believe he could actually do that.
I ran towards him, he was twisting and turning in pain while whispering God knows what, I sat on the floor as well checking for any other injuries while trying my best picking his giant body off the ground, it was reminding me of that 4 a.m. morning when I found him in his study with his bloody hand. That memory alone was sending a chill throughout my body. I immediately started crying while calling out his name "ayaan, ohh ayaan why did you do that?" no response "You idiot, what have to done to yourself?" again no response " Ayaan you are scaring me now please please wake up please get off the floor you are bleeding" again no response at all, his getting unconscious was scaring me even more. However I still managed to lift him up from his unharmed arm and carried his weight on my little shoulder. The small couch on the corner was near us so I made him sit there.
I took out my phone and started calling nia, and the bad luck had still continued as she was not answering to any of my calls. Frustrated I went to the bathroom and started searching the cabinets above and below the sink for the first aid box, and my search became successful when I found a plastic rectangular see through box but when I got back into the room the couch was empty ayaan was not in the spot I left him.
"Ayaan!! Ayaan!! " In this time of the day when sun almost going down the natural lights that was coming into the house has gone dim now and this strange behaviour of ayaan is seriously creeping me out. When I reached the living area I spotted ayaan washing his wound in lyo the sink of nia's open kitchen. This guy needs to get out of here now.
"What is your problem ayaan? What are doing? Why are you doing this? Please please tell me" I was saying this while crying every word out of my mouth, my steps were getting closer and closer to him but he was doing nothing but holding the edge of the sink with both his hands and breathing furiously.
"Ayaan, do not stand here like a dumb, just answer me got damn it. Answer me or else I....." The remains of my next sentence had sealed by the pair of lips which was sinking into my mouth eagerly. After about 10 second I realised that he was kissing me Or it has dawned when my back hit the wall against the kitchen.
And for a minute i wanted to forget everything, I so much wanted this thing to continue. Every single cell in my body was shouting to stay put where I was but hey!! you can't have everything you wanted and to keep kissing him like that is the only thing I want to exist. Like there is no tomorrow. But from back of ky head a logic keeps shouting at me thar this needs to be stopped and just like that I pushed him back, "you are the only person I want to do this with, can't you see I can't I just can't bear it anymore. Just hear me once please, you have to hear me because I am not going anywhere until you hear whatever I have to tell you. " His every word was slipping out of his mouth. The mouth where my mouth was getting what it wants. Oh god what is happening with me. I am not this type of a girl. You need to get hold of yourself swarni..
"This idiotic behaviour of yours need to end right at this moment ayaan. "
But he was not listening to what I have said, he still have guts to hold my elbow and bring me near him. He bend down his head again to kiss me i thought but in place of that only his forehead landed on mine. He was staring into my eyes, this close this proximity was killing me and my eyes automatically closed like they doesn't want to stare at the pool of something that doesn't ends long.
My breath was out of control, it was hard to handle this:, Him, Me, Us!!!!
" Please kiddo hear me once, you deserve to know the truth.. You have to know. " And my eyes flew open on the mention of my nickname the concern taped voice was laced with guilty and something I don't want to put finger on.
"Okay fine!! " I shouted while snatching my elbows out of his grip. " I will hear you out but before that I want to return you something."
I went back to the room and picked up the file, I found a pen lying on the side table. When I turned to go back to him he was standing into the same room, as if he was following me around like my shadow. Or maybe he was sure that I am going to lock myself up again. Here I am standing straight with my shivering hands I opened the file, and as I have already read that on the day i have got these, I drew my signature under my name.
"This is over, now in my eyes there is nothing left to talk. So you mr. Ayaan malik, you may leave now. " The rudeness was evident from the my voice.
And he had no option but had to hopelessly staring at my face, as if trying to erase something. The file was still stuck in between my palm and his chest. He was not holding it. But the thing that bothered me the most was his last sentence to me.
"I know, I don't deserve you. Not in this life swarni. Even if I want you, the blood running into my veins doesn't allow me to be with you. I should not stay in your life for your greater good, you are the epitome of love. You have a purest soul. I shouldn't be in your life. I shouldn't."
The stream of tears were continuously running on my face and he was moving backwards towards the door, almost left when he said.... "I am sorry for everything, I hope you will not change anything about you cause you are amazing"....
And just like that the door was shut, he was out of the room, out of the house and probably out of my life too. Just like that.....
YOU ARE READING
Never mine..
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