Two Sides of the Same Coin

Chapter 10

The first thing you're aware of is pain. Mind-bending, excruciating pain. You scrunch your nose, letting out a low whine. Your shoulder, your back... There's a massive throbbing in your head that won't go away. Your legs feel stiff, and you can't feel your right arm at all. Through your closed eyes, you can tell that there are bright lights above you. You take a deep breath, and the clean, antiseptic air reminds you of a hospital. But that's not right. How could you be in a hospital?

You open your eyes slowly, blinking slowly at the sheer brightness of the room. Your entire body feels heavy, but that doesn't make sense. You make a weak attempt to raise your arm, and it fails miserably. Instead, you turn your head slowly. Geoff is sleeping in the chair off to the side. You can see three other chairs around you, too, but only one other is occupied. "J-Jeremy..?" Your voice is small and weak, like the rest of your body. He looks up from his phone, his eyes tired and full of concern. They immediately widen. "Holy shit! Wait- fuck, oh man. Uh.. Shit. Geoff!" Jeremy gets up, setting his phone on his chair.

You can tell that his first instinct is to get up and check on you, to make sure you're okay, but instead he strides over and shakes Geoff back into consciousness. "She's up. (Y/n)'s up," he says urgently, gesturing towards you. "Huh, wha- oh fuck!" He gets up and slams the button above your bed that you hadn't even noticed. Then he immediately steps out of the room, tapping his phone rapidly. Jeremy stays by your side, however, and grabs your hand gently. "Don't worry, (Y/n). The doctors will be here any minute.

A few moments pass of the two of you staring at each other, each of you exhausted in your own ways. He squeezes your hand softly, and then backs off as the doctors and nurses swarm the room. You can't really comprehend what happens next. Everything happens so quickly, and all that you're certain of is that you were quickly sent back to an unconscious state.

The next time you open your eyes, you're able to look around and find the familiar faces of the Fakes. They were all watching you with varying degrees of concern, sitting or standing, some fidgeting and some totally still. You take a deep, shaky breath, and whisper softly, "hey, guys." They all just keep staring at you. "Uh... How long have I been out..?" You try to smile, but even your face feels weak, and you can feel your exhaustion tugging at your eyelids. You barely hear the words, "four days," before you fall asleep again.

Opening your eyes again, you can already feel a difference in your physical state. Geoff is still besides you, with Gavin sitting where Jeremy was and Michael beside Geoff. Jack stands idly in the corner, watching you worriedly. You smile softly at her, and you see her let out a heavy sigh. You bring your arms back and immediately gasp in pain, alerting the boys in the room. Michael immediately gets up and pushes you onto your back firmly. Your body arches and you cry out loudly, and he lets off quickly. "Shit, sorry... You gotta stay laying down, you took two shots to both sides of your torso, and you had a pretty rough ride down the side of a mountain..."

With the description Michael provided, and the searing pain in your entire body, everything comes rushing back. The panic, the fear, the pain, the adrenaline. You feel completely and utterly stupid for ever thinking you could back up the Fakes without them knowing. Geoff sighs heavily, dropping his head into his hands. "How'd you guys find me..?" you ask softly. Jack stares at you for a long time. She finally says, "Lindsay discovered you weren't in the base. Then she told us that the tracker was offline. We couldn't get to you until after we lost the police and made it back to base. Then, we just went to the last place your tracker showed, and searched around."

You glance at Geoff, and barely catch him muttering to himself under his breath. "Geoff..? I'm sorry..." you whisper softly. He inhales slowly, and you see his body shake. "I should've known... I should have made the connection... Nobody gets better in 8 hours... I should've seen the signs..." he says, staring down at the ground. You frown a little, feeling deeply ashamed of yourself. "I'm sorry... I wanted to prove that I was capable... I wanted to join you guys... To show that I could do it..." You know that it's no excuse, but it's all you have.

"You could've died, (Y/n)," Gavin says quietly. "The doctors weren't sure if you'd wake up. The one bullet barely missed your heart." Guilt grips your heart and you feel tears start to well up in your eyes. "I'm sorry... I just..." You can't bring yourself to admit that you nearly died for the chance that Ryan might talk to you again. You look around at the guys in the room, and suddenly the door opens. Jeremy pokes his head in and looks around, and then smiles brightly when he sees that you're awake. "Hey! Feeling better, now..?" He steps into the room, pushing the door open a little further. You smile at him and nod, but your mood immediately plummets when you see Ryan enter the room.

The two of you immediately lock eyes, and you can see so many emotions in his eyes that it genuinely surprises you. You stare at him longingly, and watch his chest rise and fall with a deep breath. "I'm sorry, (Y/n)," he says finally. You shake your head slowly, trying to stay calm and collected. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too," you manage. He stares at you for a long while, then drops his gaze. "Why? Why'd you do it?" he asks quietly. You glance at the others, and then stare down at your lap in shame. "I... thought that if I proved myself to Geoff... I'd be able to join the Fakes... And you'd finally talk to me again..." He doesn't look at you, only managing, "well... I don't know about proving yourself to Geoff, but... Here we are..."

You take a long, deep breath, and it suddenly feels like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest. You push yourself into an upright position, holding back tears of pain as your nerves are set aflame from the movement. Jeremy assists and steadys you gently, earning a small thank you. He nods and backs up. "Ryan?" You catch his attention gently. He raises his eyes, looking ashamed and sad. You manually command your body to push through the pain and open your arms slowly for a hug. "C'mere, Rye-bread. Please. This hurts." He stares at you for a long time before finally giving in and approaching the bed, wrapping his arms around you in a secure hug.

You feel his body start to shake and carefully move to brush your fingers through his hair, humming softly. "It's okay, Ryan. I'm here. We're all here for you. We're not going anywhere..." He nuzzles into the side of your neck, and you feel his tears start to soak your skin. "I'm sorry, (Y/n), I'm so sorry," he manages softly, repeating himself over and over as you continue to comfort him. You look at the others who seem to be a mix of awkward, uncomfortable and, on Geoff's part, not surprised in the slightest. "You guys can go if you want... I'll be okay with Ryan," you say, staring mostly at Geoff. He rolls his eyes and stands up, waving at the others to tell them to go with him.

"See you guys later," you call softly. Jeremy waves on his way out, smiling at you encouragingly. You scoot over on your bed as the door shuts, pulling Ryan with you. He hesitates, but climbs up onto the hospital bed with you, nuzzling against you. "Everything will be okay, now, Ryan. We're here, now. Together. We'll be okay. Just promise me we'll spend more time together. Please..." You nuzzle the top of his head softly and he nods. "I'll try to take more time off from work... I won't ignore you, and I'll even miss heists if I have to... I won't leave you ever again..." You feel him snuggle closer, and hug him tightly. "That's all I want..." you say softly, yawning again. "I'm gonna fall asleep again... Stay..?" He nods a little, and you let yourself slip back into the dream world.