Raven,
Why do I feel so numb
And why is it that sometimes
I feel so much, I overflow?
It's not even about you anymore, raven
My darkness is so much bigger than you
And I've tried to pretend
Tried so hard to pretend
That my problems could be contained
By something as little as you
But they cant
Sometimes,
It feels like my heart has stopped beating
And it hurts
It hurts so much
When I realize that I've been holding my breath
When I realize that I, am killing me
You see raven,
My problems are me
My many dormant volcanos
That are now threatening to spill
You dont get it
You dont get
How it feels to not be able to cry
To not be able to let go
My pain is trapped in me
And it refuses to spill over
And I do not know what I mean
But I'm hoping you do
I'm hoping you'll get this
And you'll know what to do
Of the pieces
Of me
That I have scattered everywhere
Do I collect them and fix myself?
Or do I chuck them into the volcano?
Choices choices, always believed I would have some. Here are mine:
Do I write myself a nice little script
And act out my stupid life?
You know, ignore my demons,
Lead a pretentious life.
Or do I...
Embrace them?
Break out my talons?
Drag the ghosts out of their lairs?
Become part of them?
Or worse,
Become you?
Because I'm this close baby,
I'm this close.
_____
Seriously, my life is a fucking mess. Idek amymore. I'll edit this tomorrow (i say that like i have a process and edit all my poems when in reality i just write stuff and pretend my poems dont exist anymore). It's pretty shitty.
Also, nice to be back to the darkness?
YOU ARE READING
My Beloved Raven,
PoetryRavens smell weakness; they wait for you to die, so that they can feed on you. This one's for my raven, who I sometimes love and sometimes hate. You make me feel so many things. You make me human.
